MR. PRESIDENT (UPROAR 2023)
ABSTRACT
“You can ASPIRE FOR PRESIDENT. But please, POSTPONE YOUR CAMPAIGN till after 2019 election.” Those were the words of Nigeria’s president, Muhammadu Buhari; upon his signing of the “NOT TOO YOUNG TO RUN” bill into law in 2018: one of the BEST THINGS to have HAPPENED TO NIGERIA. Those words were uttered during a brief remark after his signing of the bill - and were directed to representatives of YOUNG PERSONS from the 36 states, including ABUJA.
I guess that we, the youngsters, have MR. PRESIDENT to thank for the signing of that bill into law, thus opening POLITICAL DOORS unto us - come 2023 upward. You and I now have the chance to slide ourselves into the CORRIDORS OF POWER and take shots at BETTERING THE NIGERIAN STATE - rather than merely TONGUE-LASHING past and present leaders for OBVIOUS FAILINGS: - such that former Nigerian lawmaker, DINO MALAYE, took online to LAMENT OVER, saying;
“EVERYONE WHO HELD, AND IS HOLDING ANY POLITICAL OFFICE IN NIGERIA, WHETHER ELECTIVE OR APPOINTED, INCLUDING ME, HAS FAILED! WE SOLD CRUDE OIL FOR 64 YEARS. BUT WE COULDN’T FEED OUR CITIZENS FOR JUST TWO WEEKS OF [CORONA VIRUS] LOCKDOWN. WELL, THE GOD OF THE POOR WILL JUDGE US ALL. IT IS TIME TO REBOOT.”
He said so - in reaction to the woeful effects of COVID-19 in Nigeria, and I couldn’t agree more with his GOOD CONSCIENCE. That comment, to a large extent, reflects the present state of Nigeria in its entirety, as well as paints pictures of possible roles played by variety of a SELECT FEW; to arrive at that eyesore state. If only Dino had ELABORATED on his comment, then there would have been a lot more to tell. But one very INVALUABLE PHRASE to consider from his words would be the part he said; “IT IS TIME TO REBOOT.” Indeed, if there’s only one thing Nigeria needs, it is absolute, severe, extreme REBOOTING.
If you’re familiar with computing terms, you understand clearly what it means to REBOOT a computer, what it means to HIBERNATE a computer, what it means to put a computer to SLEEP MODE, and what it means to BOOT a computer. Sleep mode is a power-sparing state that computers can enter when NOT IN USE. But computers usually WAKE from sleep mode through touching a key, clicking the mouse, or pressing the power button - to resume from WHERE THEY STOPPED.
To “hibernate” implies powering down a computer while retaining its state. Upon hibernation, the computer saves the contents of its random access memory (RAM) to a hard disk. When it resumes, it is exactly as it was before entering hibernation; - resuming its work from where it stopped. SLEEP MODE and HIBERNATION only rest computers for a while before they resume working from where they stopped. But when it comes to REBOOTING, it’s a DIFFERENT BALL GAME ENTIRELY!
Rebooting reloads the ENTIRE OPERATING SYSTEM of a computer: it starts the computer up again. To BOOT (BOOTING) is to START A COMPUTER'S OPERATING SYSTEM. Therefore, REBOOTING is to start it for a second time, a third time, even a fourth time, and so on. Ultimately, rebooting allows the computer to RESTART and GET BACK TO WORKING NORMALLY (not merely resting and resuming from where it stopped). More so, after a CRASH, a computer is useless until REBOOTED.
So, if what Nigeria needs is a “rebooting,” it, therefore, supposes that Nigeria has crashed beyond remedy, and needs to be RESTARTED; in order for her to go back to WORKING NORMALLY. Senator Dino is positive that THIS IS WHAT NIGERIA NEEDS. “…IT IS TIME TO REBOOT” (a fresh start), he says. But then, HASN’T NIGERIA HAD SEVERAL FRESH STARTS FROM “INDEPENDENCE?”
What about those steady transitions of power from leader to ruler; to leader to ruler? Weren’t they FRESH STARTS? Or, aren’t FRESH STARTS supposed to be synonymous with REBOOTING? Perhaps Dino means to say that what Nigeria needs is a REAL REBOOTING (an actual fresh start) since all previous rebooting (former supposed fresh starts) weren’t fresh starts after all. They were mere HIBERNATIONS and SLEEP MODES: one administration putting Nigeria to rest after years of MILKING HER SILLY, another administration emerging quickly to RESUME THE EVIL - with reckless abandon. HELL IS REAL!
Just like Dino, Nigerians cry of having had enough HIBERNATIONS and SLEEP MODES! An ACTUAL FRESH START is what everyone now yearns for: a REAL REBOOTING. But this tends to be FARFETCHED. At the same time, it seems VERY HANDY; - just that a vast majority tend to deem it more farfetched than handy (understandably). The world will no doubt end someday, and all the suffering and cheating and oppression will be no more! But how near is that end??? And if that end so happens to tarry, SHALL WE KEEP ON LIVING THIS WAY??? Shall we keep on SUFFERING??? STARVING??? CRYING??? DYING??? WAILING??? SHALL WE KEEP ON……??????
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And so commenced UPROAR 2023: echoes of dissatisfaction from a SLIGHTED FIRE-BREATHING MASSES who now want to be heard or GO BANANAS!!! After all, how much worse can it get??? If diplomacy has failed, perhaps we should consider other options!!! Fighting maybe: another long-drawn-out war, bla-bla-bla... “We don tire!!! Our mumu don do!!! We die here!!!” Such brave words are spewed by these masses, all HIGHLY FLAMED-UP in readiness to FORCE-REBOOT Nigeria if efforts at traditionally courting the attention of “SUPERIOR CITIZENS” happen to fail again. I guess it’s high time ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!
The good in all these is that MR. PRESIDENT is given to diplomacy, otherwise, these “FIRE-BREATHING MASSES” may have learned the hard way to never HAVE MORE COURAGE THAN SENSE, especially in these LAST DAYS. God so kind, Mr. President is not a MAN OF WAR, not the LION, not a FIGHT, nor the INDABOSKI BAHOSE. Rather, he is a MAN OF PEACE, a man of LOVE, a LAMB, and a FELLOW NIGERIAN. That is why there could be a dialogue between PEOPLE and STATE (i.e. “governed” and “governor”), a fair marriage of ELITES and MASSES: a WELL-PACKAGED DEMOCRACY!!!
THIS IS A NOVELIZED EXPOSITORY ESSAY ON LEADERSHIP FAILINGS IN NIGERIA, ON THE “NOT TOO YOUNG TO RUN” BILL, ON THE NIGERIAN STATE AS A WHOLE, AND ON THE COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF OF THE NIGERIAN ARMED FORCES: “MR. PRESIDENT.”
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INTRODUCTION
If Nigeria is to again amount to anything praiseworthy, there’s got to be a “rebooting.” If it wasn’t so, Senator Dino, in the absoluteness of his person, wouldn’t publicly stress the need for it. Although this need had become glaring enough for even the blind to see, such VALIDATIONS by the likes of Dino, I would say, are perfect CASE STUDIES for analysis; such as TREATED IN THIS PIECE. Perhaps; at the end of this piece, that GREAT NEED will become EVEN MORE GLARING THAN EVER!
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Mr. President has nothing but good intentions. It is very clear from his doings. All he wants is to CREATE A REPLICA of the era of biblical King Solomon, under whose reign - SILVER AND GOLD BECAME LIKE MERE ROCKS AND STONES: (2ND CHRONICLES 1:15). Imagine NIGERIAN CHILDREN throwing silver and gold (rocks and stones) at each other for play. As in, what many would readily GIVE THEIR LIVES FOR, becoming mere play-toys in the HANDS OF CHILDREN?
Fantasy! Fantasy! many would say! But this is actually Mr. President’s goal, his mission, his purpose: to establish heavenly bliss in the land - on the wings of LEADERSHIP. It just so happens that the situation he comes to a face-off with; is the kind he is LEAST PREPARED TO TACKLE. The country is in gloom: a soup of nothingness, a bottomless emptiness, an inky blackness. She is formless and desolate, everything covered by a raging ocean - engulfed in TOTAL DARKNESS!
Given the gloomy blackness, Mr. President can’t seem to find his way around. Where does he start fixing things from? Everything is in a mess! Everywhere is in shambles! It is hopeless! The place is beyond repair! UPROAR from the masses isn’t exactly helping. Pressure from accrued failures by past governments is already too much for him! Adding an uproar is surely going to drive him nuts! He doesn’t know where to turn, who to call, how to start, or what to do. He is in a dilemma, more like caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. How did we (Nigeria) even get here, please???
Nigeria is a country lavishly laden with MILK and HONEY, richly adorned with the GREENEST OF PASTURES, aesthetically decorated with the FINERIES OF NATURE, blessed with a variety of natural and human resources, with bunches of talented folks, intellectuals, creatives, you name them! But even with such abundance and splendor, there seems to be nothing to write home about this OVERLY OBVIOUS GREENLAND, and Mr. President is now CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE of it all.
Things had moved from good to bad; and then to worse. They moved again from worse to “attempted good,” to bad again, and finally to WORST! Mr. President envisions moving things BACK TO GOOD, TO BETTER, TO BEST. You see, it is very okay to LAUGH AT THIS POINT. I mean, he must really think of himself as some sort of a SUPERHERO; or a GENIUS perhaps. Or maybe he sees a lot of HOLLYWOOD MOVIES; that “GAME OF THRONES” kind of thing. YOU KNOW, RIGHT???
But then, UPROAR from the masses isn’t the “TWITTER BASHING” kind of thing! It isn’t some fictionalized artwork or some RANDOM RANTINGS on the internet. It is UPROAR INDEED! The streets are filled with RIDE-OR-DIEs: those who totally disagree that LIVING DOGS ARE BETTER THAN DEAD LIONS! I mean those who would rather be LIONS, whether living or dead! Mr. President just has to perform, or things will just have to GO SOUTH! Thankfully, he is a man of PEACE.
He would rather tow the path of diplomacy, to see how to attend to the conflicting matters of the country without leaving the masses dissatisfied in any way. He is all set to leverage his leadership prowess to pilot the affairs of Nigeria. It takes great inherent leadership abilities to run the affairs of a country, not to mention a country like Nigeria. But Mr. president is CONFIDENT IN HIS ABILITIES. He is confident that he can REBOOT NIGERIA like Senator Dino strongly suggests.
His eager attempt at doing so has seen him revisiting NIGERIA’S BOOTING DAYS. Like they say: “SOLVING A PROBLEM BECOMES EASY WHEN THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM IS KNOWN.” This is Mr. President’s APPROACH at REBOOTING Nigeria: to seek out the roots of PREVAILING ISSUES, devise means of tackling them from that root, and consequently rebooting Nigeria (while at the same time managing a raging masses, fuming with TOXIC DESPERATENESS for the dawning of a NEW NIGERIA).
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BOOTING NIGERIA
Mr. President’s tactic at salvaging Nigeria is to trace the nation’s prominent issues to their roots, and then see how to tackle them from there. This has led him to Nigeria’s BOOTING DAYS: that ELUSIVELY PURE BEGINNING; when light seemed to have DAWNED on the BLACK CONTINENT. Nigeria was INVADED and soon transformed into a POTENTIAL LONDON. Those were GLORIOUS DAYS, an era of ENJOYMENT GALORE; PARTY AFTER PARTY, well-structured by the MASTERS to favor IN-DEPTH EXPLOITATION OF THE PLACE. It looked like the event of Genesis 1:3 where God had said: “LET THERE BE LIGHT: AND THERE WAS LIGHT.” (KJV).
MISSIONARIES also stopped by with the GOOD NEWS, conquered the West in the shortest possible time; and expanded their footprint in the East and the rest of Southern Nigeria with their “POTENT, IRRESISTIBLE TONIC OF EVANGELISM AND EDUCATION” (as Chinua Achebe of blessed memory puts it). That was the light that had dawned on this part of the black continent, this GIANT OF A NATION, this great country: NIGERIA. However, those ENCHANTING DAYS WERE SHORT-LIVED.
There was FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN! Boys wanted to become men, and men no longer wished to be, should I say, “SUBJUGATED?” Women didn’t hold back their support, and the children merely RAISED THE NATION’S DUST with their innocent chase games until abruptly, somewhat unannounced, there was darkness again on the face of Nigeria! There were no more MISSIONARIES, no more MASTERS, just NIGERIANS treating NIGERIANS to a BLOODY THUG OF WAR!
That wasn’t new, though. Long before THE COMING OF MISSIONARIES AND MASTERS, there usually were such wars. But they were mere trivial violent exchanges that couldn’t at the most be counted for war. Howbeit, upon the departure of the masters, the trivial violent exchanges escalated into heated frenzies and ultimately pitched to a BLOODY CIVIL WAR! It could be that the light that had dawned on Nigeria, had been overcome by darkness. But if the HOLY BOOK is anything to go by, DARKNESS NEVER OVERCOMES LIGHT. Therefore, would it be safe to say that LIGHT HAD NOT DAWNED ON NIGERIA AFTER ALL???
Light had actually dawned on Nigeria: - just not the LIGHT OF MEN; which shines in darkness without being overcome by the darkness. That’s probably why it was so quick to again give way to a FORMLESS, DESOLATE, WATER-COVERED, DARKNESS-ENGULFED Nigeria! Now, THERE’S AN UPROAR! The people want Mr. President to BRING BACK THE LIGHT, not just any light, but the LIGHT OF MEN: such that DAWNS WHEN THE SPIRIT OF GOD MOVES AND GOD SPEAKS!
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UPROAR from the masses is becoming deafening! “We want light! Give us light! We are tired of darkness! Give us light!” Such wild chants are fired at the naïve Mr. President who seems to be laden with nothing but GOOD INTENTIONS and a HEART FOR THE PEOPLE. Full of ZEST and love for his country. But those aren’t enough to earn him the HOT SEAT. As the Bible rightly says: “It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way”: Proverbs 19:2 (NIV). If Mr. President had known, he wouldn’t have let his zeal drive him to the hot seat so soon. He would have taken time to DIG NIGERIA OUT OF THE WOODS OF HISTORY before aiming for THE VILLA.
But he’s at the Villa already. The only way forward is to DELIVER, or else, STEP ASIDE for a more competent aspirant to BURDEN HIMSELF (OR HERSELF) with that MANDATE. The people have HIGH EXPECTATIONS. They trust that Mr. President is able and capable: if not for anything, for his promise to ALIENATE POVERTY and make prosperity to become a COMMON NORMAL. “When I become president of Nigeria, SILVER AND GOLD WILL BECOME LIKE MERE ROCKS AND STONES: COMMON PLAY-THINGS FOR KIDS!” With comments like that, delivered with SUPREME CONFIDENCE, the masses couldn’t help SEEING A MESSIAH IN MR. PRESIDENT.
What they aren’t exactly aware of; is the fact that Mr. President only just got to dig Nigeria out of the woods of history, in his bid calm the storms in the country. He only just got to learn that the problem of Nigeria is as ANCIENT as the word goes. How did he even get the “Mr. president” tag without as much as knowing that “there are three maps of Nigeria, which Nigerians must have in mind, in order to grasp how the country has been BUILT OR NOT BUILT? Or how Nigeria has been MADE AND UNMADE?” HOW???
Well, Emeritus Professor of Drama and Theatre Studies, Professor KALU UKA would have Mr. President understand that the said maps bear “Fascinating Tales of Historical Dramatization.” According to him, “a nation is not just GEOGRAPHICAL BOUNDARIES or POLITICAL DIVISIONS into states and local government; nor electoral wards and constituencies. Rather, a nation is PEOPLE, and peoples are united in a SOVEREIGN STATE.” That is not too hard to grasp, IS IT?
The renowned professor further made known to Mr. President that Nigeria is not the 60-YEAR-OLD COUNTRY it is purported to be (at the time of this writing: 2020). Rather, she is somewhere around a hundred and sixty (160) years old (according to the maps). To ensure that Mr. President is not left BEWILDERED BY THIS REVELATION, the Emeritus professor went even further to break things down for the lay understanding of the young, ambitious, but a quite naïve Mr. President.
The professor broke down the three maps for easy understanding in an ESSAY he titled: “DRAMA AND THEATRE AS DIGGERS OF THE FOUNDATION FOR GOOD GOVERNANCE AND NATION-BUILDING THROUGH HISTORY.” That essay was written on the occasion of the supposed “celebration” of NIGERIA-AT-50: (INDEPENDENCE DAY: 2010). In his words:
“The first map captures Nigeria from 1860: when the British annexed the “colony of Lagos” from Oba Kosoko, up unto 1906 when the first tentative steps to build a multi-national state were uncertainly taken. Then in 1906, the colony of Lagos merged with protectorate of southern Nigeria while the protectorate of northern Nigeria remained SEPARATE AND FAVORED AS A BELOVED CHILD.”
“The second map captures Nigeria from 1914 to 1945, after lord Laggard and his wife, Sarah Shaw, CONCOCTED THE NAME: NIGER-AREA. It was at that time that Nigeria saw the AMALGAMATION of NORTHERN AND SOUTHERN PROTECTORATES, producing then, TWO NIGERIA because it is/was clear, that AMALGAMATION IS NOT UNION.”
Professor Uka continued that “the objective of the colonial administration was a CONVENIENT ARRANGEMENT TO ECONOMIZE RESOURCES WHILE DERIVING UTMOST DIVIDENDS FROM A LARGE AFRICAN JUNGLE MARKET; for the Royal Niger Company consortium of traders in everything; from slaves to ivory, gold, timber, hides, and skin, BUT NOT YET OIL.”
“The last map captures Nigeria from 1945 to this present day: as it is, since the John Foncha-led excision of part of the South Eastern tip of the Cameroons, a system of loss of territory, capped in ex-president Obasanjo’s loss of Bakassi again to the Cameroons, and a shape Nigeria now has since 1963 when the SO-CALLED REPUBLICAN CONSTITUTION WAS ADOPTED.”
“Meanwhile, in 1922, there was the HUGH CLIFFORD CONSTITUTION in which, as Governor-General, he VIEWED NIGERIA AS A “COLLECTION OF INDEPENDENT NATIVE STATES that are SEPARATED from one another by great distances, differences of history, traditions, plus ethnological, racial, tribal, political, social, and religious barriers”: a myopic perception of Nigeria.”
Gratefully, Mr. President has uncovered this MYOPIC PERCEPTION and a few more to be THE ROOTS of Nigeria’s problems. As a next move, he reaches out to the masses to call all attention to these sad realities. Mr. President has called. Many have heard. But only a few have chosen to give him LISTENING EARS. A GREAT NUMBER of his hearers don’t give a damn about LISTENING! They couldn’t care less about ANCIENT KNOWLEDGE! All they want is for Mr. President to [MAGICALLY] SHINE THE LIGHT on Nigeria and bring forth the NEW ENVISIONED DAYS OF BLISS UNTOLD!
A GREATER NUMBER of his hearers seem to GET HIS MESSAGE. They get a crystal clear picture of things. They understand the extent of the damage, the loopholes, the AUDIO DEMOCRACY, and the CORRUPT FOUNDATION of the nation (in the first place). But this clarity of vision tends to be their UNDOING, sadly. They cannot possibly ENVISION A FIXING of the DIRE NIGERIAN DAMAGE! So they advise thus: “Mr. President, having seen and gotten acquainted with the SITUATION OF THINGS IN NIGERIA, we can only advise that you TAKE A WALK from politics IF YOU WON’T BEND. The entire system is crooked. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!”
Continuing to advise, they add: “the PEOPLE THAT MATTER will not even let you alter things for the exclusive good of the Nigerian people; your good intentions notwithstanding. For your own good, drop the idea. LEAVE MATTER FOR MATTHIAS! And if you manage to find yourself on that seat, be kind enough to SERVE YOURSELF FIRST! And then YOUR FAMILY! NO GO DO PASS YOURSELF! This MESSIAH COMPLEX of yours will only land you in DEEP SHIT! But erm, please remember us in your paradise oh. No position is too small. We will manage anything: S.A, P.A, even SYCOPHANT!”
Now, the problem isn’t that a GREAT NUMBER of his hearers brush him aside; nor that a GREATER NUMBER repel him with NEGATIVE MINDEDNESS and MEDIOCRITY. His major problem stems from the frustration that comes with seeing that the MAJORITY of his SHOULD-BE HEARERS are beyond reach! How does he get them to REASON WITH HIM when he can’t even get across to them? How does he get them acquainted with REAL FACTS about Nigeria, not BASELESS PROPAGANDAS???
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“WINTER IS COMING,” declares Mr. President. “The ARMY OF THE UNDEAD will match upon THE LIVING! All the SEVEN KINGDOMS must put aside their differences and get set to face their common enemy: THE UNDEAD. If the KINGS and LORDS of the SEVEN KINGDOMS continue seeking allies between themselves to fight themselves, they will be drowning in a POOL OF THEIR OWN BLOOD when THE UNDEAD matches on them to ANNIHILATE ALL HUMANITY. We have to STICK TOGETHER! The last thing we need right now is DIVISION, except we ALL WANT TO DIE! You hear me???”
Such CHARMING SPEECH by Mr. President, isn’t it? At this point, one could be tempted to call him “JON SNOW: (the LORD COMMANDER of the NIGHT’S WATCH).” Do you know JON SNOW? He’s a CHARMER! Some sort of a MESSIAH! Mr. President SEEMS TO FANCY JON SNOW A LOT! Jon Snow is a FICTIONAL CHARACTER from the HOLLYWOOD BLOCKBUSTER: “GAME OF THRONES.”
In the movie, he is the supposed BASTARD SON of NED STARK. Ned Stark happens to be the WARDEN OF THE NORTH and PROTECTOR OF THE REALM. The NORTH consists of the Northern-half of the SEVEN KINGDOMS and is ruled by HOUSE STARK (THE HOUSE OF NED STARK). They RULE FROM THEIR CASTLE at a place called WINTERFELL.
The North is SPARSELY POPULATED. But it is nearly as big as the other SIX KINGDOMS combined, which puts it in a position where it stands SUPERIOR to the other kingdoms, except KING’S LANDING. You know why? Because KING’S LANDING is the CAPITAL of the kingdoms, just like the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) in NIGERIA. So, NED STARK, who rules the NORTH, is somewhat superior to all other rulers except the KING (who RULES ENTIRELY over everyone in the kingdoms).
In essence, the POWER STRUCTURE put NED STARK in a position where he’s the second most powerful ruler. At some point, he was made HAND OF THE KING (a sort of VICE PRESIDENT). JON SNOW was this man’s son; or BASTARD SON, as he was usually ridiculously aliased. Time will fail me to go into the DETAILS OF HIS BIRTH. But his complicated identity drove him to the NIGHT’S WATCH (a place for BROKEN PEOPLE), and he somehow saw himself becoming the NUMBER ONE MAN there: the LORD COMMANDER of the NIGHT’S WATCH (though being a fighter, he’d been forced to serve as STEWARD).
The NIGHT’S WATCH is THE WALL that SHIELDS the seven kingdoms from the BLACK HORRORS on the other side: “……THE UNDEAD!” The seven kingdoms were at war on one side of the wall, while on the other side, THE UNDEAD were on the verge of MATCHING ON the seven kingdoms to WIPE OUT ALL THE LIVING and put an end to HUMANITY. It became JON SNOW’S SELF-IMPOSED ESSENTIAL ASSIGNMENT to get the WARRING KINGDOMS to cease swinging swords at each other, and rather stand together to face the ARMY OF THE UNDEAD, who outnumbered them 10 to 1.
He actually succeeded in SUSPENDING THE WAR (AFTER MULTITUDES HAD FALLEN BY THE SWORD ALREADY). He succeeded in getting the armies of the kingdoms to MARCH TOGETHER AGAINST THE UNDEAD (after being to hell and back a million times). THE UNDEAD were ultimately defeated, thanks to JON SNOW’s supposed sister, ARYA STACK (youngest daughter of NED STACK). Arya put a knife made of DRAGON GLASS in the heart of the NIGHT KING (the leader of the army of the UNDEAD) and that was it. The NIGHT KING is the SOURCE OF LIFE for the UNDEAD. So, once he was killed, IT WAS OVER FOR THE UNDEAD! Jon Snow PAVED THE WAY for that defeat. But that’s not the MAIN REASON I said that one could be tempted to call Mr. President “Jon Snow.”
You see, while APPEALING TO THE REASONING of kings/queens of the kingdoms to stop the war, Jon Snow said things like: “WINTER IS COMING! The ARMY OF THE UNDEAD will match upon THE LIVING. All the SEVEN KINGDOMS must put aside their differences and get set to face their common enemy: THE UNDEAD.” In using that same speech to try to APPEAL TO THE REASONING OF NIGERIANS, Mr. President somewhat seemed like a HERO in the order of JON SNOW. One could ACTUALLY BE TEMPTED to call him Jon Snow AT THAT POINT. But that could only happen at that point, not at this very point. At this point, please do well not to call him JON SNOW. EE GET WHY!
Besides Jon Snow’s COMPLICATED IDENTITY which led him to JOIN THE NIGHT’S WATCH, he swore THE NIGHT’S WATCH OATH upon joining that MILITARY ORDER. HE SWORE A STRONG OATH; one Mr. President WOULD NOT SWEAR [ENTIRELY]! That is the concern here! That oath had Jon Snow MAKING HEAVY-DUTY PRONOUNCEMENTS! VERY HEAVY-DUTY PRONOUNCEMENTS! Like:
“NIGHT GATHERS, AND NOW MY WATCH BEGINS. IT SHALL NOT END UNTIL MY DEATH. I SHALL TAKE NO WIFE, HOLD NO LANDS, FATHER NO CHILDREN. I SHALL WEAR NO CROWNS AND WIN NO GLORY. I SHALL LIVE AND DIE AT MY POST. I AM THE SWORD IN THE DARKNESS. I AM THE WATCHER ON THE WALLS. I AM THE SHIELD THAT GUARDS THE REALMS OF MEN. I PLEDGE MY LIFE AND HONOR TO THE NIGHT’S WATCH, FOR THIS NIGHT, AND ALL THE NIGHTS TO COME.”
No doubt, Mr. President will just have to swear an OATH OF OFFICE upon OFFICIALLY ASSUMING OFFICE AS PRESIDENT. But you see, the OATH OF OFFICE of the president of Nigeria has nothing to do with taking no WIVES, holding no LANDS, fathering no CHILDREN, wearing no CROWNS, winning no GLORY, and living/dying at DUTY POST. Mr. President can’t even imagine a life with such restrictions, not to mention living that life. That is why he can’t exactly be called to JON SNOW.
However, the PART OF THAT OATH that Mr. President is FULLY CONVICTED BY, is the part that says: “I AM THE SWORD IN THE DARKNESS. I AM THE WATCHER ON THE WALLS. I AM THE SHIELD THAT GUARDS THE REALMS OF MEN. I PLEDGE MY LIFE AND HONOR TO THE NIGHT’S WATCH, FOR THIS NIGHT, AND ALL THE NIGHTS TO COME.”
Maybe the CHARACTER OF JON SNOW does not entirely REFLECT THE PERSON OF MR. PRESIDENT. But there’s SOMEONE ELSE in that movie WHOSE CHARACTER LARGELY REFLECTS the person of Mr. President. His name is TYRION LANNISTER: AN INGENIOUS MAN, A READER, LEADER, DIPLOMATIC, INCREDIBLY INTELLIGENT, and able to WORK (TALK) HIS WAY OUT OF MOST MYSTERIES AND CHALLENGES.
In the event where his COLORFUL ELOQUENCE fails to redeem him from challenges and mysterious situations, he still always has the LAST LAUGH - with his CUTTING WIT. Tyrion lives life to the FULLEST, just like Mr. President. He tries to be good (despite his unredeemable family), just as Mr. President tries to be good (despite his seemingly unredeemable country, Nigeria). However, Tyrion’s unredeemable family makes it IMPOSSIBLE for him to be WHOLLY GOOD.
Hence, he does have moments where he dips into the dark side. We can only pray that NIGERIA’S SITUATION doesn’t see Mr. President equally dipping into the dark side, just like his favorite Tyrion: a DWARF. Oh, did I mention that Tyrion is a DWARF? But that’s not THE REAL BIG DEAL! The real big deal is that he is the MOST FAMOUS DWARF IN THE WORLD! (you can try asking Google). There will be a lot more to say about this DWARF in the latter part of this essay. Just STAY ON WITH ME!
If you watch GAME OF THRONES, you will notice that the PROMINENT THEME which endures all through the movie, is that of UPROAR (those who’ve watched can attest). It has EIGHT (8) seasons. There was CALM in SEASON ONE. That calm vanished in SEASON TWO, only to return in SEASON EIGHT (the last season). But, until SEASON EIGHT when CALM RETURNED, there was only one prevailing element: UPROAR! UPROAR! UPROAR! just as it is; in NIGERIA RIGHT NOW!
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UPROAR 2023
“Mr. President, we can’t take this anymore! Nigeria is not anybody’s company! Nigeria is not anybody’s property! She is not a commodity for sale or rent! See ehn, this Nigeria is not somebody’s BUSINESS CENTER ooh! Hehehe! Nigeria belongs to Nigerians! For how long shall we keep robbing Peter to pay Paul?! We can’t even have a fallout with Ghana without them “dragging” us for ZERO ELECTRICITY. But thanks to Nigeria, Ghana is a PARADISE OF CONSTANT LIGHT!”
The uproar is that of WILD CHANTS FROM MAD MASSES, all shot at Mr. President from North, South, East, and West! “IT IS 2023!” they ROAR ON! “We want things to begin to be as they should be! We are not going to be SPECTATORS anymore! We are not going to be an AUDIENCE to merely cheer PERFORMERS for their performances (no matter how awkward). We refuse to continue being CAJOLED! No time for anybody! See, Mr. President, things must change! Nigeria must REBOOT!”
If Mr. President had known, he would have stopped at AIRING PRE-RECORDED VIDEO CLIPS ON TV as an address to the roaring masses. At least, that way, the masses wouldn’t do any more than to keep wailing - while waiting to watch his next CLIP. But this young, ebullient Mr. President, this ambassador of goodwill, decided to play down on ARISTOTLE’S MODEL OF COMMUNICATION (which only allows the SENDER TO SEND THE MESSAGE TO THE RECEIVER - IN AN ATTEMPT TO INFLUENCE THE RECEIVER TO RESPOND ACCORDINGLY): NO FEEDBACK WHATSOEVER! Mr. President imagined IT WOULD BE BETTER TO INTERACT WITH THE MASSES, TO ALLOW FOR AN AVENUE THROUGH WHICH THE MASSES CAN REACH OUT AND TALK WITH HIM DIRECTLY.
So, he opted for the TRANSACTIONAL MODEL OF COMMUNICATION (which allows for each person in the communication process to act as both speaker and listener, SIMULTANEOUSLY SENDING AND RECEIVING MESSAGES ON THE GO). In this model, EACH PERSON in the communication process reacts depending on factors such as their backgrounds, prior experiences, attitudes, cultural beliefs, and SELF-ESTEEM (like in radio and TV shows when diverse listeners are allowed to call-in).
The people seized that opportunity to CHEW HIM RAW! Serves him right! The next time he wants to NURTURE AMBITION, he will know better than to GO FARMING WITHOUT SUFFICIENT FARM TOOLS. He would have understood that “in any venture, a man is supposed to overvalue the negative estimates of his prospects by two; while undervaluing the positive estimates by half.” At this point, Mr. President has no estimations, nor SUFFICIENT LEADERSHIP KNOW-HOW!
All he has is ambition, a sense of purpose, and a heart for the people. It’s quite unfortunate that HIS INCOMPETENCE IN THIS AREA HAS SEEN HIM SHOOTING HIMSELF IN THE LEG; by allowing for MULTIPLE SIMULTANEOUS CYBER-FEEDBACKS which only succeeded in INTENSIFYING THE UPROAR. Once Mr. President was ON AIR and the people confirmed that his offer to treat them to a cyber-interactive session was not a BLUFF, NIGERIANS from ALL CORNERS INVADED THE CYBERSPACE and tabled DIVERSE ISSUES ALL AT THE SAME TIME - not minding if Mr. President was MAKING OUT ANYTHING FROM THEIR DEAFENING UPROAR!
Some called-in. But due to REPEATED NETWORK JAMS because of the multitude of people TRYING TO CALL IN AT THE SAME TIME, the majority resorted to VENTING THEIR ANGER ON SOCIAL MEDIA: (SOCIAL MEDIA BILL COMES TO MIND). The BITTER PROTESTS from the masses echoed to the hearing of the “NO DO PASS YOURSELF” CREW, who only OBSERVED THE SHOWDOWN FROM THE SAFETY OF THEIR COMFORT ZONES. They could see MORE BITTER COMPLAINTS FROM SOCIAL MEDIA sliding across the bottom of their TV screens at an ACCELERATING PACE!
Mr. President wished there could be a NETWORK GLITCH so he would use that as an avenue to BAILOUT! But no! NETWORK WAS VERY GOOD! There were no STREAMING INCONSISTENCIES (despite the fact that the session was STREAMED ON 2G NETWORK). There were no TECHNICAL ISSUES, no BLANK OUT, no CONNECTION HITCHES, nothing at all. The session RAN SMOOTHLY, except for the DEAFENING UPROAR from the masses which got Mr. President feeling HOMESICK.
Mr. President was struggling to calm the people and to court their attention. He sought to have them listen to him - so he would attempt using COLORFUL ELOQUENCE to appeal to their reasoning (just like Tyrion the dwarf would do). But that was futile! These people were done listening! They were done waiting! Done hoping! And they were done BEING FOOLED AROUND! All they want, is for Mr. President to DELIVER THE COUNTRY FROM EVIL. So they roared! And roared! And wouldn’t stop ROARING!
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“Mr. President we are tired! We are tired of the poor health care system in the country! We want a turnaround right now! We don’t mind being dragged back to as far as 1885 when the Roman Catholic missions established the first hospital: SACRED HEART HOSPITAL in Abeokuta, followed by other COLONIAL HOSPITALS. At least, that way, there wouldn’t be so many trips abroad for medical checkups, and commoners wouldn’t lack for where to test for Covid-19, HIV, even Malaria!
“After the Berlin conference on November 15th, 1884 where AFRICA WAS DIVIDED BY EUROPEAN POWERS and Nigeria was OFFICIALLY ESTABLISHED AS A BRITISH COLONY, those health care systems and hospitals CONTINUED TO BLOSSOM with the best hands as nurses and doctors; such that other nations trooped into Nigeria for the best medical care: the kind of medical care that could only be accessed in Britain. Even SAUDI ROYAL FAMILY was using UCH Ibadan in the 50s.”
“But Mr. President, WHERE ARE THOSE HOSPITALS TODAY? Isn’t it a shame that AFTER BRITAIN HANDED A SOUND, ROBUST, AND ONE OF THE BEST HEALTH CARE SYSTEMS/HOSPITALS IN THE WORLD TO NIGERIA (following her independence in 1960), and that AFTER 135 YEARS SINCE THE FIRST HOSPITAL WAS ESTABLISHED IN NIGERIA, all we can boast of today, are VOID DILAPIDATED BUILDINGS as hospitals??? Nigerians now go to get medical care from the SAME COUNTRIES THAT USED TO PATRONIZE HER FOR MEDICAL TOURISM IN THE PAST. It’s not that we lack manpower, good doctors, or nurses. But our health facilities are all in COMATOSE, and you’re here, telling us to calm down and listen to you? What are you going to tell us, THAT WE HAVE NOT HEARD BEFORE???”
Mr. President was about addressing THE MATTER when the telecom sector interrupted and tabled its own matter! “Mr. President, because of the need of the colonial government to connect with other colonial administrations in Ghana, Sierra Leone, Gambia, and England, TELECOMMUNICATION WAS ESTABLISHED IN NIGERIA IN 1886. Britain brought Telecommunication into Nigeria two years after they arrived (just five years after Britain started telecommunications as a whole in 1881).”
“But after the British HANDED OVER A SOUND TELECOMMUNICATION SYSTEM to Nigeria during independence in 1960, and after 134 years since telecommunication was established in Nigeria, we can't boast of good telecoms networks! We can't boast of smooth networks! We still experience drop calls or no network! Nigeria's telecommunication is dominated and ran mostly as foreign-owned. Isn’t it such a CRYING SHAME??? Mr. President, Isn’t it??? And you are still telling us to calm down???”
The POWER SECTOR didn’t give Mr. President BREATHING SPACE before slamming him with their own MATTER. “Mr. President, 12 years after the British colonialists established their presence in Nigeria, they successfully generated power in 1896. They grew and sustained electricity in Nigeria until they handed over a functional and robust power sector to Nigeria, following her independence. But isn’t it QUITE SHAMEFUL that 124 years after power was first generated in Nigeria, there is absolutely NOTHING TO SHOW??? Despite billions and trillions of dollars already pumped into that sector???”
The EDUCATIONAL SECTOR did not miss out on the showdown, as they came on board to give Mr. President a piece of their own MATTER. “See, Mr. President, you’re probably NOT TOO YOUNG TO RUN for president. But you’re most likely too young to know that even before the British took over Nigeria officially through colonization, they had already established the first school in LAGOS in 1843. Do you know that??? Of course not!!! The school was known as NURSERY OF INFANT CHURCH; and was established in BADAGRY LAGOS. Then, during colonization, MORE SCHOOLS WERE BUILT.”
“It was like a competition between the missionaries and the Colonial government. The missionaries were using schools and hospitals to convert Nigerians into their faith. At a point, the missionaries had more schools and hospitals than the colonial government. Consequently, Nigeria’s education system was robust, with top notch teachers and administrators. THE STANDARD WAS SO HIGH, to the extent that, if you passed out from any Nigerian school, you didn’t need to write series of exams if you so wished to FURTHER YOUR EDUCATION IN BRITAIN. But what’s the SITUATION TODAY???”
“It's a shame to say that 177 years after the first school was established in Nigeria (1843), Nigerians are now sending their children abroad (for even primary school education). We pay very high fees for private school education up to the university level. Despite the billions of dollars being pumped into the education sector annually, it is sad to say that, government schools (which are supposed to be the best), are solely left for the poorest of the poor to send their children to. Mr. President why???”
Travelers and transporters didn’t let the educational sector to land before they jumped in with their own MATTER. “Mr. President, the first motorable road in Nigeria was constructed in 1906. It linked Oyo to Ibadan. The colonialist built and expanded Nigeria's road networks from the South to the North across the board. Nigeria had good, long-lasting motorable roads. But what happened??? After handing over good road networks to Nigeria at independence, it is a shame that 114 years after the first motorable road was constructed, Nigerian roads are nothing but POTS OF HOLES!!!”
Mr. President was beyond grateful when the interactive session ended. He would never REPEAT SUCH IDIOCY of treating the masses to an extended cyber-interactive session! But the ending of the session was not the end of the UPROAR! When there was no more room for the masses to vent their anger directly at Mr. President, social media became the NEXT BUS STOP! Complaints of all sorts were made on the internet, ranging from corruption to rape, to religion, to the alleged conveying of thousands of jihadists to the east for genocide attacks (just as in the Northwest where banditry and kidnapping is said to prevail, and the Northeast where terrorism and banditry adds to the list: 2020).
BUT THE SOCIAL MEDIA UPROAR GOT TO ITS APEX WHEN A FACEBOOK HANDLE WITH THE MONIKER, “POLITICAL NIGERIAN EVENTS” TOOK TO ITS PAGE TO MAKE AN UNBELIEVABLE EXPOSITORY POST THAT IS PURPORTED TO HAVE BEEN ORIGINALLY DIVULGED BY A CERTAIN “NUHU RIBADU.” MANY STILL FIND IT UNBELIVABLE TILL THIS VERY MOMENT. THE POST READS:
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NUHU RIBADU’S PURPOTED WORDS - AS SHARED BY “POLITICAL NIGERIAN EVENTS: 2019”
“BANDITS WERE CREATED BY GENERAL MOHAMMADU BUHARI (RTD) TO OUST JONATHAN. Bandits are not BOKO HARAM NOR HERDSMEN. It all started in APRIL 2014 when Mohammadu Buhari assembled his ardent supporters, promoters, and strategists TO DETERMINE HOW TO REMOVE PRESIDENT JONATHAN GOODLUCK. Prominent amongst them were EL-RUFAI, GENERAL DANBAZO (RTD). A decision was reached to consult MIYATTI ALLAH CATTLE BREEDERS’ ASSOCIATION FOR ASSISTANCE TO BOOT JONATHAN GOODLUCK OUT OF OFFICE. Consequently, the National Chairman of Miyatti Allah was engaged to bring in FOREIGN MERCENARIES. Within a month, 2,000 FULANI FIGHTERS were brought in from Mali, Senegal, Niger Republic, Chad, and Libya to name but a few. Further 4,000 fighters were stationed in Niger and Chad on standby.”
“On arrival, they were ASSEMBLED IN KADUNA UNDER THE SPONSORSHIP OF EL-RUFAI and were addressed by various NORTHERN LEADERS including the Sultan of Sokoto, Gen Buhari (Rtd), etc. Specifically, General Buhari in his address, told the fighters thus: THE BRITISH HANDED NIGERIA OVER TO US THE FULANIS AT INDEPENDENCE. THE LAND (NIGERIA) BELONGS TO US. WE MUST RECLAIM WHAT BELONGS TO US. He added that in the event that Jonathan Goodluck won the election, the Fulani machinery must FIGHT UNTIL THEY REGAIN CONTROL OF THE COUNTRY. HE ASSURED THEM THAT THE NIGERIAN ARMY WAS BEHIND THEM. The mercenaries received initial training from the Commandant of the Nigerian Defense Academy and were sent to 6 camps in Ekiti State, Benue State, Katsina State, Kaduna State, Zamfara State, and Borno State.”
“In the camps, brand new pick-up trucks, generators, etc., were provided them. NIGERIAN AIR FORCE HELICOPTERS WERE USED TO PROVIDE THEM ESSENTIAL SUPPLIES LIKE FOOD, WATER, DRINKS, AND EVEN ARMS AND AMMUNITIONS. Evidently, Jonathan Goodluck lost the election in 2015 through a well-orchestrated election organized by INEC under a Fulani Chairman, Professor Jega. General Buhari (Rtd) was sworn in as the president. This saw the emergence of a FULANI PRESIDENT through a DODGY ELECTION, hence, the planned violent war was AVERTED.”
“Contrary to expectation, THE MERCENARIES IN THE VARIOUS CAMPS WERE ABANDONED. No more FOOD AND ESSENTIAL SUPPLIES. The relationship between Miyatti Allah, El-Rufai (now a State Governor), and Dambazo broke down. El-Rufai arrogantly declared THAT THEY WERE NOT NEEDED ANYMORE AND THEY SHOULD GO BACK. Consequently, the killings in Kaduna commenced as a warning to El-Rufai. But it did not bother him. He declared that he had paid the people carrying out the killings and they did not want to stop. The Nigerian police did not bother to call Governor El Rufai to give further clarification on this. The Mercenary at the various camps decided to go about to find food for themselves by robbing people, going into farmlands and kidnapping.
Miyatti Allah made several efforts to contact El Rufai and Dambazzo to appeal to them to provide money to RETURN THE FIGHTERS TO WHERE THEY CAME FROM. All efforts proved abortive. The mercenaries at this point VACATED THEIR ORGANIZED CAMPS AND TOOK TO CRIME. The criminal gangs which emanated from these mercenaries were at this point described as BANDITS; in order to differentiate them from other notorious terrorist groups like Fulani Herdsmen, Boko Haram, etc. Following the UNTOLD DESTRUCTION AND KILLINGS which the Bandits carried out, especially in Katsina and Zamfara, the Northern leaders, in conjunction with officials of the Nigerian Government, requested Miyatti Allah to intervene and remove the Bandits from Nigeria. Miyatti Allah returned demanding 150 BILLION NAIRA TO SETTLE THE BANDITS AND EVACUATE THEM.”
“The government turned the offer down and restricted itself to the payment of 100 BILLION NAIRA. Shamefully GODWIN EMEFIELE RAISED N100 BILLION FOR THE SETTLEMENT as a condition for his RE-APPOINTMENT as the central bank GOVERNOR. Miyatti Allah collected the money and purportedly distributed it but nothing changed. In a bid to CONTROL THE DAMAGE, President Buhari directed that RUGA INITIATIVE be set up to CREATE COLONIES for these fighters in every state in Nigeria…”
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This was the HEIGHT OF IT for Mr. President! I mean, how in the world do revelations like that FIND THEIR WAY TO THE INTERNET? Mr. President must have thought that he was, to a large extent, richly vested with KNOWLEDGE OF HISTORY AND HAPPENINGS IN NIGERIA (having commendably dug Nigeria from out of the woods of history). That’s one of the reasons why he thought he could be president. But here, were people who knew better, knew deeper, knew broader!
Multiple sources (some anonymous) kept littering the internet with many such revelations: federal loots and their perpetrators, police brutalization and extortion, bribery and corruption amongst supposed saintly leaders, and so on, and so forth. Nigeria is in RUINS! It’s clearer now than ever! It’s alarming! It’s even scary, especially the part purporting the possibility of a secret infamous but seemingly thriving AGENDER. On this SECRET AGENDA, another YOUNG NIGERIAN who seems to be more acquainted with Nigerian history than Mr. President; had this to write on SOCIAL MEDIA:
“THIS IS WHY HISTORY MUST BE TAUGHT IN OUR SCHOOLS. THOSE WHO NEGLECT HISTORY ARE BOUND TO REPEAT THE MISTAKES OF THE PAST. PLEASE READ, LEARN, AND BE WARNED!”
“The story is told of how King Yunfa, the Hausa Sarki in Gobir (now called Sokoto) hosted a FULANI IMMIGRANT CALLED USMAN DAN FODIYO and his group in February 1804. As a result of this, the whole of the NORTHERN REGION LOST ITS KINGDOMS and was REPLACED BY FULANI EMIRATES (starting from 1808). King Yunfa is said to have been KILLED IN 1808 and the FULANI WARRIOR (USMAN DAN FODIYO) ESTABLISHED THE SOKOTO CALIPHATE, MAKING HIMSELF SULTAN.”
“Gradually, OTHER HAUSA KINGDOMS were pillaged and TAKEN OVER BY THE FULANI EMIRS. The ethnic groups in the core North were the first victims of FULANI IMPERIALISM, a venture that occurred because the people were given ACCESS TO GRAZING LANDS as a result of the “HOSPITALITY OF THE HOSTS.” They, however, FAILED TO OVERRUN THE BORNU AND JUKUN KINGDOMS. So, the Shehu of Bornu and Aku Uka REMAINS PARAMOUNT TILL TODAY!”
“The AFONJA DYNASTY COMPROMISED BY ALLOWING A FULANI WARRIOR known as JANTA ALIMI TO SETTLE IN ILORIN. The Fulani guerrillas killed Afonja in 1824, and Ilorin, a Yoruba town under the Oyo empire, FELL INTO FULANI HANDS, becoming an EMIRATE UNDER SOKOTO CALIPHATE TILL TODAY! Even the attempts of the O'odua People's Congress (OPC) to REVERT TO STATUS QUO ANTE and crown an Onilorin of Ilorin became an EXERCISE IN FUTILITY.”
“The Yoruba warriors GOT WISE and defeated the Fulani jihadists in Osogbo in 1840. If this didn't happen, there would most likely have been FULANI EMIRS AS RULERS in Oyo Alaafin, Ibadan, Owo, Osogbo, Ede, Ado, and Igede Ekiti today! If the Bini Kingdom did not FIGHT AND REPEL THE JIHADISTS, they would have penetrated the Edo/Delta region beyond the present-day Edo North Senatorial District which GAVE IN and ALLOWED the jihadists to Overrun and ISLAMIZE THEM.”
“Along with some IGNORANT FOLKS, most of them are now ANGLING FOR GRAZING AREAS AND A CORRIDOR THROUGH THE ENTIRE FEDERATION. These grazing areas WILL IN THE FUTURE BECOME FULANI SETTLEMENTS, later COMMUNITIES and finally LOCAL GOVERNMENT AREAS WITH ELECTED OFFICIALS. You can take a cue from the once beautiful and serene Middle Belt state of Plateau. The exact same thing happened in Jos. Therefore, it will not be farfetched to conclude that THE FULANI HERDSMEN ARE PAWNS IN AN AGENDA TO OVERRUN ALL TOWNS IN NIGERIA; so that we will have emirs in Owerri, Enugu, Benin, Agatu, Wukari, Abeokuta and other towns where Federal Government creates GRAZING RESERVES FOR FULANI HERDSMEN!”
“If Yunfa didn't ACCOMMODATE FODIO AND HIS WARLIKE IMMIGRANTS from Futatoro, Hausa Sarkis would be ruling today in the North! And if Afonja didn't compromise with Alimi, a Yoruba kingdom wouldn’t be ruled by Alimi's offspring till today! It is a SUBTLE CONTINUATION OF THE 1804 FULANI JIHAD BY THE FULLY-ARMED AND PROTECTED FULANI HERDSMEN WITH AN AGE-OLD AGENDA TO OVERRUN AND ISLAMIZE THE WHOLE OF NIGERIA VERY QUICKLY.”
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At this point, MR. PRESIDENT ISN’T EXACTLY SURE IF THERE’S ANYTHING AT ALL THAT HE CAN DO TO SAVE THE NIGERIAN SITUATION. It seems to be clearly BEYOND HIM! He should really TAKE A WALK FROM POLITICS as some YOUNG PEOPLE ADVISED HIM TO (if he isn’t ready to go with the flow). Mr. President is now CONFUSED, ANXIOUS, LOST, NERVOUS, TENSE, AND BLANK! And there’s still UPROAR FROM THE MASSES: “Mr. President, WHY ARE YOU QUIET? You haven’t ADDRESSED NIGERIANS IN WEEKS! ARE YOU STILL ALIVE? IS ASO ROCK STILL WORKING? OR, IS YOUR CAMERAMAN NO LONGER DELIVERING ON THE VIDEO CLIPS? TUEH!”
Mr. President REALLY CAN’T BEAR THE UPROAR ANYMORE! He has to DO SOMETHING! He thought about BAILING OUT! But that would be too shameful. So he imagined that he could leverage on these diverse revelations from the masses to salvage the NIGERIAN SITUATION and ultimately see to a REBOOTING of the country as Dino Malaye suggests. For some reason, Mr. President deeply shares Dino Malaye’s conviction. It is indeed TIME FOR NIGERIA TO REBOOT!
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REBOOTING NIGERIA
Rebooting Nigeria is NO EASY TASK. It can never be a WALKOVER, arguably. It was an attempt to reboot Nigeria that triggered the NIGERIAN CIVIL WAR OF JULY 1967 TO JANUARY 1970. Given the DETAILS OF THAT WAR, Mr. President wouldn’t have Nigerians treat each other to ANOTHER BLOODY WAR IN AN ATTEMPT TO REBOOT NIGERIA. Of course, Mr. President does not wish to again PUT THE WORLD IN A POSITION WHERE IT WOULD HAVE TO REMAIN SILENT WHILE WE DIE!
That way, no one would have to argue over what part of the world inspired that silence. Families wouldn’t get to lose their loved ones as a consequence of that silence, nor would starvation ruin children with Kwashiorkor due to that silence. Parents wouldn’t have to watch their young sons being forcefully conscripted into the army to die an early death. Sane folks wouldn’t suddenly lose their minds on account of the psychological effect of war. Oh no! Mr. President knows better! He wants a situation where everyone would come to see things as they are, and collectively work together to achieve a NEW ERA (as Tyrion the dwarf always tried to make happen in GAME OF THRONES).
Do you remember TYRION LANNISTER? That DWARF in GAME OF THRONES whose personality largely reflects the person of Mr. President? In the course of the movie, he severally found himself in Mr. President’s kind of situation. He was just a dwarf. He couldn’t possibly wield a sword in defense of himself if it came to that, and there was a bloody war going on. He had a small dagger though, made of VALERIAN STEEL: one he never used. Mr. President loves how Tyrion used his mind rather than the sword, to solve conflicts upon conflicts. So he ENGAGED HIS MIND (like Tyrion would do).
Mr. President took another look at Nigeria in an effort to determine a means of rebooting her without causing major damages. Until now, he had been more concerned about Nigeria’s failings that he didn’t quite NOTICE HER WINS. There might be CORRUPTION IN NIGERIA. There might be shortcomings in the health, educational, power, telecom, etc. sectors. There might be shortcomings in VARIOUS INDUSTRIES. but there’s one industry that has STOOD TALL THROUGH THICK AND THIN, flourishing like lilies of valleys, having a GREATER IMPACT on the lives of the people than the so-called GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLE!
This industry has been the DOING of many persons who would have otherwise been LOSERS; if it was left for the government to enable them for success. Given how organized and flourishing the industry is, almost all attention is channeled there, to have diverse needs met. Some go for fun, some for solace. Some for joy, relaxation, pleasure, comic relief, and all forms of amusements that the industry has to offer. The industry has become a DEN OF DEMI-GODS. I’m talking about the ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY. Unlike the government, this industry is always there for the people!
One who’s not a FAN OF MOVIES will most likely be a FAN OF MUSIC. If it’s neither movies nor music, it’ll be COMEDY. And there are many other aspects of entertainment that hit different people differently, and DIFFERENT CLASSES OF NIGERIANS most likely have that particular aspect of entertainment that eases them up and keeps them going. Mr. President himself is an ARTIST! He’s an ART FREAK! In essence, the industry has become MORE ESTEEMED than the government, and most definitely creates MORE IMPACT in the lives of the people than the government. A closer study of that industry has gotten Mr. President seeing an OPPORTUNITY thereof; to REBOOT NIGERIA.
The bible makes it very clear that “people die for ignorance and lack of knowledge.” The reason a police officer will jail an individual, then demand bail without a trial, is because the individual lacks knowledge of the fact that IT OUGHT NOT TO BE SO. Even when a single individual (or some groups of individuals) have that knowledge, the majority don’t have that knowledge too. So it becomes difficult for the knowledgeable few to stand together with the ignorant lot and enforce justice (a thing that would keep oppressors at bay and get people always going for what they know is theirs).
But as it is, SUCH AWARENESS ISN’T HANDY. Even HISTORY, as a subject, just got RE-INTRODUCED IN THE EDUCATION CURRICULUM in 2019, after having been STOPPED SOME TEN YEARS AGO (for primary and secondary schools). It is not clear why it was STOPPED IN THE FIRST PLACE, and it is scary to imagine what would have been the IMPACT of such a step in the longer run. Maybe that’s what prompted the Executive Secretary of National Council on Education (NCE), Professor Ismail Junaidu, to say this (upon his approval of the reintroduction of the subject):
“History of inter-group relations in Nigeria has confirmed the extent of interactions among Nigerian ethnic groups or nationalities long before the imposition of colonial rule. It would have been the DUTY OF HISTORY as a subject in schools, TO BRING THESE TRUTHS TO YOUNG NIGERIANS, TO INFLUENCE THEIR UNDERSTANDING OF LIFE, AND WHAT ROLES THEY COULD PLAY IN CEMENTING THE RELATIONSHIP AMONG GROUPS. It would also have meant that young impressionable Nigerians would very early in life, develop positive self-concept and awareness that would be the basis for the emergence of an identity that will be truly national and well-conceived.”
Currently in Nigeria, ALMOST EVERY NIGERIAN CITIZEN CAN SING THE NIGERIAN NATIONAL ANTHEM and recite the NATIONAL PLEDGE. But how many Nigerians are as CONVERSANT WITH THE COUNTRY’S CONSTITUTION? How many Nigerians are WELL-INFORMED ON WHAT THEIR RIGHTS AS CITIZENS of Nigeria really are? HOW MANY NIGERIANS REALLY KNOW NIGERIA?
You see, this is where the ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY COMES IN. As earlier said, NIGERIA IS OVERWHELMED BY ENTERTAINMENT. Almost everyone is a FAN OF ONE ART OR THE OTHER. Consequently, many Nigerians, mainly the youths, have been greatly influenced by the contents of the entertainment mechanisms they fancy. In the days of African-American rapper, 2-Pac Shakur, YOUNG CHAPS TURNED TO VIOLENCE upon being constantly exposed to THE THUGGISHNESS OF HIS ART. Here in Nigeria, when Nigerian musician, FALZ THE BHAD GUY decided to JUMP ON THE GOVERNMENT via his song; “THIS IS NIGERIA,” I NEED NOT MENTION HOW WELL-RECEIVED THE SONG WAS, ON ACCOUNT OF THE MATTERS IT ADDRESSED.
If you LOOK ON THE BRIGHTER SIDE, you will see that ENTERTAINMENT CAN BE USED AS A TOOL, not to promote violence and “IMMORAL AMORALITIES” (so to write), but to DRIVE KNOWLEDGE across to ENTERTAINMENT LOVERS far and wide. Imagine NOLLYWOOD PEOPLE making it a POINT OF DUTY TO ACT OUT DIVERSE NIGERIAN HISTORY, BIT BY BIT. Imagine COMEDIANS mostly CENTERING THEIR WIT ON FACTUAL MATTERS OF THE NIGERIAN STATE. Imagine musicians chiefly opening the eyes of the people to NIGERIAN TRUTHS UNTOLD via the lyrics of THEIR SONGS. Isn’t that why the name of the legendary FELA Kuti is STILL ON THE LIPS OF THE PEOPLE TILL DATE???
To whom MUCH IS GIVEN, MUCH IS EXPECTED. Having been granted such degree of AFFLUENCE, it’s only fair to CHANNEL THAT AFFLUENCE TO THE FURTHERANCE OF NOBLE COURSES; like that of Mr. President. In the end, it would all be for the common good of the Nigerian people, which includes us and our generations unborn. WE MUST ALWAYS HAVE TOMORROW IN MIND!
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Mr. President has reached out to the entertainment big shots. He even involves THE MEDIA. Of course, Mr. President can’t help involving the media in his strategy because when it comes to the 21st century, media and entertainment go hand in hand, and these two happen to have the PEOPLES’ ATTENTION at their fingertips. He appeals to the media personalities and entertainers to CAPITALIZE ON THEIR AFFLUENCE and impact the people positively, constantly feeding them more of “REVELATORY-ENTERTAINING” CONTENTS than just MERELY ENTERTAINING CONTENTS.
HE APPEALS TO THE MUSIC EXECUTIVES, FILMMAKERS, COMEDIANS, OAPS, BLOGGERS, EVEN SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCERS, ETC., TO USE THEIR ART AND PLATFORMS TO SPREAD INSIGHT AND KNOWLEDGE, FOR “IT IS ONLY WHEN THE NIGERIAN PEOPLE KNOW THE TRUTH, THAT THEY CAN BE A REBOOTING,” POSSIBLY.
Getting the roaring masses acquainted with GOOD KNOWLEDGE of EVERYTHING NIGERIA would go a long way to bring about a rebooting of the nation without the littlest of chaos. If FELA alone could use music to SPREAD INSIGHT that STILL INFLUENCES live today, think what happens the moment many entertainers and media personalities become the FELAs of our time, bombarding the people with vital info and basic truths (using their art and platforms). That is Mr. President’s earnest desire: to have Nigerians RICHLY VESTED with knowledge of the truths of the country.
Under Mr. President, there will be no POLICE AND THIEF games to hunt down legitimate whistleblowers. No one will have to hide under ANONYMOUS handles to SPREAD THE GOOD NEWS in fear of being hunted down. Mr. President, in himself, wants the good news to spread. He wants the truth told. He wants Nigerians to know that Nigeria belongs to Nigerians, to know that viewing Nigeria as only belonging to a certain set of Nigerians, is nothing but a twisted view, passed down to the ignorant by SELF-SERVING CON MEN (and women) who care about nothing but themselves and their families, not Nigerians.
But if entertainers and media personalities are to REASON WITH MR. PRESIDENT, the people will become DOMINANTLY ENLIGHTENED, as the media and entertainment sphere would force-tell the Nigerian people their truth, force-call their attention to KEY NIGERIAN MATTERS, force-renew their minds, and force-drive them to the place of standing up for their rights! Knowledge, truth, history, would be at the tip of the peoples’ fingers, all thanks to the entertainment and media guys. But if these guys must play this role, they themselves must be custodians of FACTUAL FACTS about Nigeria. (THAT IS TALK FOR ANOTHER TIME).
That strategy may have succeeded if the roaring masses had given Mr. President some more time to set the plan fully in motion. But as it turned out, only a few entertainers and media personalities had begun buying into Mr. President’s idea when UPROAR FROM THE MASSES intensified BEYOND ALL CONTROL. The police dare not fire ACCIDENTAL DISCHARGES at the wildly-protesting masses in the streets. UNINFORMED INVADERS (running with propagandized vision), dare not expand their footprint beyond boundaries, as a heated resistance would see Nigeria burning in flames.
Mr. President will be a failure if it gets to that. But he has very limited time to ensure it doesn’t get to that. In a bid to speed up the rate at which enlightenment is spread to the people, he decided to appeal to RELIGIOUS LEADERS to do to their congregants what the MEDIA and ENTERTAINMENT guys were doing to their fans and followers. This was another means by Mr. President, to leverage on the affluence of public figures, and appeal to the peoples’ reasoning.
Mr. President wasn’t exactly asking for HISTORY and MATTERS ARISING to be taught at religious gatherings. No! Maybe he thought that religion has a role to play in NATION BUILDING, and would expect religious leaders to make that known to their congregants, as well as make known to them their roles therein, being the MORAL AGENTS that they are. Of course, you know that a lot of RELIGIOUS PEOPLE view politics as EVIL (Christians in particular). Yet we expect the “evil politicians” who supposedly soil their hands in “evil (politics)” to do us good when they become “EVIL RULERS???”
That’s funny, you know. See, my people, in the bible days (old testament), KINGS (MR. PRESIDENTs) were always enthroned by PROPHETS. Religiosity aside, politics is not a BAD GAME. It just so happens to be a game played by BAD PEOPLE. Just change the bad people to good, and have these changed people join together with other good people to play politics. You’ll see that politics will change from the BAD GAME it used to be, to a GOOD GAME. It’s all about the people involved, not politics in itself.
But we usually make statements like: “you can’t serve God and mammon together. Hence, you can’t serve God and be in politics. Chose one!” If we’re to settle this particular matter, THY KINGDOM may come and we will still be settling THIS MATTER. So, I will just let go of THE MATTER! But my people, politics is not mammon. Don’t be ignorant! You see, this is where RELIGIOUS LEADERS come in. Mr. President really welcomes some sort of SENSITIZATION from them all.
Even if there’s an EVIL LOT in the political sphere, those who aren’t evil can blend in and co-exist. The bible teaches SEPARATION, not SEGREGATION. You can MAKE CONTACT without CONTAMINATING. If we’re the salt of the earth, can salt work in ISOLATION? At this point, one may ask: “is Professor Yemi Osibanjo not a Christian? What Christly change has he made in politics?” A simple answer to that question would be that “you may not know what difference he has made until you draw close enough to know his role. Again, he can only operate as he is permitted by the law. He’s just a Vice President. Do you recall those days when he was the acting president???” So, religion must play its role!
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RELIGION
Quite sadly, RELIGION is often said to be the CORE of Nigeria’s problem. But Mr. President imagined that if religion could foster DIVISION in a nation as great as Nigeria, then religion can likewise contribute immensely to arrive at the ULTIMATE UNITY of Nigeria and Nigerians. Therefore, Mr. President, just like his friend (Tyrion the dwarf) would do, REACHED OUT TO RELIGIOUS LEADERS FROM THE NOOKS AND CRANNIES OF NIGERIA. NIGERIA MUST WORK!
Mr. President has ABSOLUTELY NO TIME to entertain RELIGIOUS DIFFERENCES in the country. He would rather do all he can to gather as many leaders as possible from the different religions, to brief them on his effort at rebooting Nigeria and their solicited roles; in it thereof. But these leaders ended up DROPPING SCIENCE on Mr. President (as it has to do with NATION BUILDING and the ROLE OF RELIGION in it). He should have had this encounter before AIMING FOR PRESIDENCY. Now, he is getting to learn too much! To discover too much! To hear and know too much! BUT NO TIME TO DO EVEN LITTLE!
Mr. President SHOULD DROP THE COURSE AND GO BACK TO BEING A NORMAL CITIZEN. Obviously, he is a little too poorly equipped to RUN THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE, and he’s even “TOO YOUNG TO RUN!” Yes! He’s too young to run! Oh, he really thought WE WOULDN’T KNOW??? How he managed to court the attention of REVERED RELIGIOUS LEADERS is something that he, Mr. President, can’t seem to WRAP HIS HEAD AROUND. He’s Mr. President after all, I GUESS!
HOWEVER, MR. PRESIDENT’S ENLIGHTENMENT, HIS MORE ENLIGHTENMENT, AND HIS MUCH MORE ENLIGHTENMENT, CAME FROM THE RELIGIOUS LEADERS (WHO SOMEWHAT - ALL THE MORE OPENED HIS EYES TO THE EXTENT OF HIS IGNORANCE!). MR. PRESIDENT HAS SO MUCH MORE TO LEARN. BUT THE ROARING MASSES, BY NOW, HAD GONE NUTS!
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There is ANOTHER FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN! Men, who were made to become boys, now want to be men again because, they have for too long been, should I say, “SLIGHTED?” They gave Mr. President as much time as they could, for him to fulfill his promise of making SILVER AND GOLD TO BECOME LIKE MERE ROCKS AND STONES. Turns out Mr. President only had the zeal to do so, not the knowledge and capacity to bring it to fruition. Now, the people want him out of the Villa! WHAT A PITY!
The people started abusing and calling him names. “Look at you! Mr. President my foot! All you know how to do is to TALK BIG and make promises you CANNOT DELIVER! You want to play a fast one on us and embezzle our money like your predecessors abi? Sinzu Money like you! Jacuzzi like you! Oh, because you head “NOT TOO YOUNG TO RUN,” you now rushed to come use the presidency as your SIDE HUSTLE ba? Yahoo-Yahoo President! Shame on you!”
Mr. President had many such words thrown at him. He had known that things could GO SOUTH like it now has. He just hadn’t envisioned it happening just yet. They called him a failure, a busybody, a hopeless wanna-be who is never gonna-be! Though he never at the least doubted himself on account of the naysaying of naysayers, he, however, wished that he had been adequately equipped with leadership know-how, such as he only just got to learn from a certain pastor’s interview with PUNCH NEWSPAPER. The said pastor, Tony Rapu by name, had replied thus to questions on LEADERSHIP AND POLITICS:
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TONY RAPU’S INTERVIEW WITH PUNCH NEWSPAPER ON LEADERSHIP AND POLITICS
“As a leader, I have seen that the best of leaders are, themselves, followers. We are following God. If one takes one’s eyes off God, one may find oneself sinking, especially in CRISIS MOMENTS. In Christian leadership, we begin to learn that we must lead from the front. We must live out the principles that we are espousing. Christianity is not ‘do as I say’ but ‘do as I do’. The effective leader must model what he says. He must live out his message. That is what produces the AUTHENTICITY OF LEADERSHIP.”
“As leaders, we’re always dealing with issues of fallen humanity [Nigeria]. We live in a broken world [Nigeria], and as such, we face several issues. Our work is to help people [Nigerians] arrive at a place where they can live out their full potential and help them manage crisis situations [like the Nigerian situation]. This, of course, cannot happen without the spiritual input that comes from an UNDERSTANDING OF THE MESSAGE OF THE GOSPEL.”
“Leading a large congregation [masses] is one of the most challenging assignments in life. It truly tests one’s mettle as a leader. It takes character, capacity, resilience, and giftedness to lead diverse kinds of people from diverse backgrounds [like Nigerians]. It requires great wisdom to navigate people in the direction one believes God wants them to go. Working with strong leaders in their own right and harnessing their strengths and gifts for the good of the entire organization requires specific skills as well.”
“Moses, in the Bible, had the same challenge. Having to keep his cool and lead God’s people was a major challenge for him. Eventually, that was where he erred and was unable to enter the Promised Land. Working with people who have varying levels of understanding and revelation can be difficult. There are times one feels there’s a direction one should take [like that of Mr. President]. It may seem UNPOPULAR AT THE TIME. But as a leader, one makes certain judgments, knowing that there could be some negative outcomes. That is a challenge but it comes with the terrain.”
“THE ROLES OF THE CHURCH IN NATION-BUILDING ARE DIVERSE. Not only should we speak truth to power; we should also provide the requisite morality and righteousness needed to turn things around. The Bible says it is righteousness that exalts a nation. We need moral standards of righteousness infiltrating the fabric of society. We must also be involved in the political process in terms of nominating and voting for candidates in the electoral process.”
“Our work also includes PREPARING PEOPLE FOR GOVERNANCE. Many of the Christians who have found themselves in government positions have been ILL-EQUIPPED TO MANAGE THE CHALLENGES OF GOVERNMENT. The church must be PART OF THE PROCESS THAT BRINGS PEOPLE TO POWER. Is it not when the righteous are in power that the people rejoice? WE NEED TO PREPARE PEOPLE EFFECTIVELY FOR THE RIGORS OF GOVERNMENT.”
“People perform best in their AREAS OF CALLING. People who are CALLED TO POLITICS should go ahead and SEEK ELECTIVE POSTS. If they happen to be pastors, there is nothing wrong with that. If they are able to manage both sides of their calling, that is very commendable. But whether a pastor is called to seek elective position or not, ALL PASTORS SHOULD BE INVOLVED IN THE POLITICAL PROCESS OF THE COUNTRY. Beyond prayers, our call is also to help (church) members understand their civic responsibilities as Christians. We should endeavor to engage the congregation to embrace involvement in the electoral process. Whichever way, pastors should be involved in the political affairs of the country.”
“Oftentimes, when people talk about religion, they are referring to the number of churches (and mosques in the country). The challenge is that this definition can be quite removed from the true ESSENCE OF CHRISTIANITY and thereby reduce Christianity to a MERE RELIGION, devoid of spirituality and genuine transformation.”
“We need to move beyond this form of religion that denies the power of transformation, to one that includes the working of God in the heart of a man or woman. Ideally, our beliefs should affect our way of life and impact our conduct. If we continue to perform religious acts without an innate change of heart, then corruption will persist. Corruption emanates from a heart that in itself is corrupt. It is the gospel that changes the hearts of men. Corruption will begin to reduce when our actions line up with the value system and principles of changed hearts.”
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But it’s already too late now! The people want Mr. President replaced by a new [competent] Mr. President. As a good leader, he wouldn’t use more than 40% of his power as president (reminds me of ex-president Goodluck Johnathan). Otherwise, he would have had some UNIFORM MEN do some DIRTY WORK for him that would send the masses back into their shells. It’s a good thing he didn’t attempt to, as he may have only succeeded in unleashing ARMAGEDDON this time!
He knew that the people had lost faith in him and that his attempt at diplomacy was likely to fall on deaf ears (as was the case a couple of times with his favorite man, Tyrion the dwarf). Just as Tyrion would do if he found himself in that position, Mr. President resolved to concede the HOT SEAT to MR. VICE PRESIDENT. Given the situation, that was the most reasonable, most noble, very wise thing to do (rather than DRAG Mr. Vice President DOWN WITH HIM).
Talking about Mr. Vice President, he is one man you will so love to meet. This man is a very highly UPGRADED VERSION of Mr. President. But due to the fact that THIS LIFE IS NOT BALANCED, the OVERLY QUALIFIED BORN-LEADER just happened to find himself being handpicked to run as a vice to Mr. President. These two have many things in common, actually. They both love Tyrion the dwarf. Both are zealous, born-leaders, and have a heart for the people. The only differentiating factor between them is that Mr. President is not yet equipped to lead. He needs to develop himself some more. Thank God he’s quite young and has the time for that. But you see Mr. Vice President??? The young man is LEADERSHIP PERSONIFIED!!!
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MR. VICE PRESIDENT
While Mr. President was busily canvassing for public figures with whom to form alliances and try to remedy the Nigerian situation, Mr. Vice President was in the background, pulling some TYRION LANNISTER STRINGS! Recall me saying that both Mr. President and Mr. Vice President are lovers of Tyrion Lannister the dwarf? Yes, they are! It’s just that Mr. Vice President has watched GAME OF THRONES from start to finish (season 1 to 8) for ten good times. Mr. President has only done that twice. So, in essence, Mr. Vice President had gotten ten times more acquainted with TYRION’S WAYS AND DEALINGS than Mr. President.
Consequently, he was able to attend to the roaring masses for as much as he could. It is even he, who had kept the masses from getting out of control SOONER THAN THEY DID. The people had noticed his COMPETENCE, as much as they had noticed his LIMITS as a Vice President. They believe to a large extent that if Mr. Vice President TAKES OVER from Mr. President, he would OUTPERFORM Mr. President. Maybe that is why they got out of control, asking that Mr. president should STEP ASIDE for Mr. Vice President to TAKE OVER and TAKE HIS SHOT at REBOOTING NIGERIA!!!
Mr. Vice President isn’t the kind of man who would stupidly try to OUTSHINE THE MASTER. That would be transgressing the very FIRST LAW OF POWER! But then again, that law allows for an OUTSHINING OF THE MASTER if the master is already a FALLING STAR! Mr. President is far from being a FALLING STAR. As a matter of fact, he is a “slowly but steadily” RISING STAR. Mr. Vice President, with all his credentials, knew better than to try outshining Mr. President. It can be DISASTROUS!
But Mr. President isn’t POWER DRUNK! He’s not a RULER! He is a leader! For him, power is not the goal. Fame is not the goal. And money most certainly isn’t the goal. The goal is NIGERIA: her betterment; for her people thereof! Since he obviously falls short as it has to do with being SUFFICIENTLY EQUIPPED to handle a sensitive position like that of the PRESIDENT, he decided to CONCEDE THE SEAT to Mr. Vice President, who obviously seems more prepared to play such a role.
Mr. President didn’t opt to have Mr. Vice President run the country’s affairs while he clings to the hot seat (as would be the case with a president who doesn’t mind being just a FIGUREHEAD). Mr. President isn’t that kind of man. He has principles! He has values! He has self-respect! And he has shame! It is actually a shame to conceded to his vice! But it is a noble thing to do, given the circumstance. Upon conceding to his vice, he gave an official address to the masses, saying:
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OFFICIAL ADDRESS OF MR. PRESIDENT
1. Fellow Nigerians.
2. I will start by commending you for your persistent determination and the patriotism that you have shown in our collective fight against Nigeria’s biggest challenge, BAD LEADERSHIP.
3. Out of love and concern for our beloved country and the people thereof, I, along with my running mate, decided to join the presidential race for 2023. But having seen the challenges that come with leadership positions, and especially having seen my deficiency in leadership know-how, I have decided to STEP ASIDE for my vice to take the mantle and RUN FOR PRESIDENT 2023!
4. I cannot say to you that STEPPING ASIDE is easy. But I have to, because, even the bible questions thus: “…WHICH OF YOU, INTENDING TO BUILD A TOWER, DOES NOT SIT DOWN FIRST AND COUNT THE COST, WHETHER HE HAS [SUFFICIENT] ENOUGH TO FINISH IT?”: (LUKE 14:28).
5. I indeed intended to build a tower [reboot Nigeria]. But it turns out that I didn’t sit down first to count the cost like I thought I had. Now, reality seems to have CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD. I do not have [sufficient] enough to build this tower [reboot Nigeria]. But my running mate does, which is why you should all channel the same energy you used for your UPROAR, into electing him PRESIDENT OF THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA!
6. At this point, I cannot emphasize enough on the need to vote only WELL-MEANING LEADERS into power. Fellow Nigerians, I can assure you that my running mate HAS NIGERIA AT HEART. If any of the OTHER PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION CANDIDATES from the other parties happen to win this 2023 election, then Nigerians may just have succeeded in DOOMING NIGERIA FOREVER!
7. To really stress the need for Nigerians (especially youths) to rise and take their destinies in their hands, I will leave you with the words of Nigerian playwright, poet, and essayist, Wole Soyinka, who some time ago, called on Nigerian youths to be WARY OF OLD POLITICIANS (WHO HAVE BEEN PART OF THE PROBLEMS OF NIGERIA AND HAVE FAILED TO FIND SOLUTIONS TO THE PROBLEMS OF THE NATION). In his words:
“All I can just tell you is this: “don’t make the mistake of following THOSE WHO FAILED YOU BEFORE; those who are PRETENDING that they have NOTHING TO DO with the disaster that has OVERTAKEN NIGERIA. They are very quick to smell failure, very quick to shout it. But then, THEY EXCULPATE THEMSELVES, whereas they are the FOUNDING malfeasance of the Nigerian condition. That is what I am warning (the) youths against. Mobilize, get your representatives, and stop bothering geriatrics like myself.”
“But Nigerian youths are full of spunk outside (abroad). And when they are inside Nigeria, they are full of gas! We are building a GENERATION OF ILLITERATES. They are the first to comment on the internet on issues they are ignorant about. Talking about education, I get texts from the NEW GENERATION and can't believe these texts are from the YOUTH.”
“Though being youths, they are waiting for Wole Soyinka to LEAD A MARCH TO ASO ROCK. It is about time TO GET OFF YOUR FEET and stop WRITING RUBBISH ON THE INTERNET about things you do not understand. I do not know how to describe the New Generation beyond a generation of INTERNET TROLLS. 'WHERE DID WE GO WRONG???”
“WAKE UP NIGERIAN YOUTHS! Awolowo was 37 years. Akintola 36. Ahmadu Bello 36. Balewa 34. Okotie-Eboh 27. And Enahoro 27. Yet, they led the struggle for Nigeria’s independence after the death of Macaulay. Only Zik was 42 at the time! In 1966, the first military coup was led by K. Nzeogwu who was 29 years of age and countered by M. Mohammed (28 years), T. Danjuma (28 years), Ibrahim Babangida (25 years), J. Garba (23 years), Sani Abacha (23 years), and M. Yar'adua (23 years): thus bringing to power Y. Gowon 32, Ojukwu 33, Obasanjo 29, and Buhari 24!”
“Most of the MILITARY GOVERNORS WHO GOVERNED THE STATES under the successive military regimes were UNDER 30 YEARS. Also, the brief democratic dispensation which interjected the military interregnums also saw some Senators and members of the House of Representatives, in particular, populated by persons under 30 years of age! Under-30s were also not in short supply with appointments - we have examples of MT Mbu who became Nigeria's Foreign Affairs Minister at 23 years, and Pat Utomi who became a Federal Adviser at 27 years, And so on and so forth!”
“NOW: why is it that almost all this age bracket is today still SLEEPING IN 3-SEATER CHAIRS IN THEIR PARENTS’ HOMES? Why is it that this age bracket is today still collecting POCKET MONEY from their parents? Why is it that this age bracket is today still WRITING JAMB? Why is it that this age bracket today still SAGG their trousers? Why is it that this age bracket is today still searching for jobs and not yet married? Why is it that this age bracket is today no longer qualified to even be leaders of youth wings of political parties? Why is it that this age bracket is today so DOCILE?”
“WHY IS THIS AGE BRACKET TODAY INCAPABLE OF FEEDING ITSELF? WHY IS IT THAT THIS AGE BRACKET IS TODAY BARRED FROM EVEN ASPIRING TO CERTAIN POLITICAL OFFICES? WHY IS IT THAT THIS AGE BRACKET IS TODAY INCAPACITATED, UNWILLING, UNABLE, AND INCAPABLE OF ASKING QUESTIONS? GOD BLESS NIGERIA!”
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A ROARING APPLAUSE from the masses followed Mr. President’s excellently delivered speech. I mean, the masses couldn’t help noticing that he wasn’t even reading his speech from any book or screen. He said it all by heart. Perhaps the people, at that point, felt a little guilty for having pounced on him as much as they did: for having dragged him on social media as much as they did, and for having ultimately succeeded in GETTING HIM TO CONCEDE TO HIS VICE.
It’s okay to feel such remorse. That is how REAL PEOPLE (who are sensitive to the feelings of other people) are wired. Nigerians may have been anything else in the past. But the ultimate need to bring about a dawning of a NEW ERA; saw Nigerians becoming REALER THAN REAL, demanding CONCRETE CHANGE in the system, standing up for their rights, shunning mediocrity, and making it clear to Mr. President that THE REAL POWER LIES WITH THE PEOPLE!
Maybe they blew their UPROAR a little out of proportion. But that was the only way they could get a competent leader to run for president, not a half-baked/incompetent one like the young naïve Mr. President. Their remorse for Mr. President is only a testament to their humaneness. Perhaps they shouldn’t blame themselves so much for Mr. President’s seeming demotion because, besides the fact that Mr. President wasn’t all that competent, he was actually TOO YOUNG TO RUN: too, too YOUNG TO RUN!
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NOT TOO YOUNG TO RUN
Upon signing the NOT TOO YOUNG TO RUN BILL in 2018, President Buhari had asked that despite the signing of the bill in 2018, the presidential race for 2019 was not open to youths. The bill was to take effect from 2023. It’s now 2023, and youths from every nook and cranny of Nigeria have emerged with unbeatable zest to play leadership roles. Mr. President is one of those youths; - just that he is far from being OLD ENOUGH TO RUN; at least not in this very 2023.
Mr. President doesn’t even have a wife! As in, Mr. President is very, very single! Maybe he was entertaining the thoughts of scrapping out the office of the FIRST LADY if he got lucky enough to win the presidential race. Or maybe he was just being BLINDLY AMBITIOUS! His marital status is one of the areas he touched while addressing Nigerians; before leaving the scene for Mr. Vice President. He had told them he’s still single and hadn’t really thought about the office of the FIRST LADY. He had said:
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“I was blinded by my quest to earn your approval and ultimately have your votes in this 2023 presidential election. But that doesn’t rule out the fact that my intentions were solid and true. However, I neglected certain things with reckless abandon. For instance, I’m still too young to run for president. Yet I thought I could bend the system somehow. After all, I have good intentions, much better intentions than many who are OLD ENOUGH TO RUN.”
“Howbeit, that was a twisted perception of things. LAW IS LAW, and no man is ABOVE THE LAW; good intentions or not! Big or small! Rich or poor! Black or white! East or West! North or South! The worst part is that I’m not even married! I wasn’t thinking about what happens if I became a President WITHOUT A WIFE. Can you imagine becoming Mr. President without MRS. FIRST LADY to pilot the affairs of THE OFFICE OF THE FIRST LADY? What was I even thinking??? Gosh!!!”
“Maybe it’s a good thing I conceded to Mr. Vice President because, under a functional democratic system, one should be able to look beside Mr. President and see an elegant Mrs. First Lady; whose countenance is always lit up with cheery smiles, who gives a brand-new meaning to life: a whole new essence to existence. I’m talking about an industrious ally, a trustable confidant, clever and purposeful, and a very creative lover of Mr. President! What other kind of Mrs. First Lady could Nigerians possibly ask for???”
“Mrs. First Lady should be nothing but a life-sweetening agent, securely confident, decently elegant, a life-giver, strong and respectable, and a firm believer in GOD; unlike CONCEITED DRAMA QUEENS who only seek nothing but UNDUE ATTENTION, who always have an irritating sense of ENTITLEMENT, an inflated idea of delusional self-importance, and concocted illusionary feminine qualities that GIVE PLEASURE TO THE MALE SENSES but BLIND THE EYES to predominant devilish demeanors. It is better to scrape out the OFFICE of the FIRST LADY than to have such a woman as MRS. FIRST LADY.”
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MRS. FIRST LADY
No nation wants a VAIN, CONCEITED, UNINTELLIGENT, UNENLIGHTENED first lady anyway. It’s a lady with improved/well-harnessed leadership abilities that fits the role, and Mr. President is well-aware of that! Maybe that’s why he’s still single (since potential high-quality MRS. FIRST LADIES aren’t littered everywhere): at every corner, every hotel room, every FRONT SEAT OF YAHOO-BOYS/ARISTOS’ CARS, every WEDDING CEREMONY, every, every, every! But then again, even the FEW POTENTIAL FIRST LADIES aren’t MAKING THINGS EASY for the likes of Mr. President!
It is them who usually make Mr. President to often question himself thus: “why do these girls no longer think they aren’t getting any younger???” And then he would add: “Shey na like dis we go dey dey?” LOL. Isn’t Mr. President quite a funny man? The thing now is that he isn’t going to be Mr. President anymore, at least not this 2023. He’s underage and unmarried, and inexperienced too. He, in his address, had assured Nigerians that he will be back when he’s of age and no longer TOO YOUNG TO RUN. He also assured them that Nigeria will by that time have a SUPERWOMAN as Mrs. FIRST LADY!
It is not clear when Mr. President hopes to take a shot at the presidency again. But come 2027 upward, he will be of age to RUN FOR PRESIDENT, along with his DREAM GIRL as MRS. FIRST LADY! The good thing about the office of the first lady is that it is not subject to the “NOT TOO YOUNG TO RUN” bill. Even the youngest of girls can become MRS. FIRST LADY, provided she’s well-equipped to handle leadership roles, and just so happens to be Mr. president’s CHOICE!
But that doesn’t mean that Mr. President is at liberty to fool around with UNDERAGE girls. Can you imagine a child/teenager as Mrs. first lady? What is a grown man even doing with a child or teenager in the first place? Oh, so because the age of consent in Nigeria is 18, a man thinks it’s a license to go around cajoling emotionally/mentally immature girls into marriage? Or to go about molesting, sexually assaulting, and ultimately raping naïve girls? Or even going ahead to rape those that of age but just would not consent to the [immoral] act in the first place? GOD HELP SUCH MEN when Mr. President returns!!! God help them oo!!!
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It is my prayer that we all will live to see that day. For now, let’s come back to Nigeria, to the masses, to the election at hand, and to Mr. Vice President! The people are all set to cast their votes for Mr. Vice President. They love him, as much as he loves Tyrion the dwarf. I had earlier promised to say more about Tyrion the dwarf. You see, in Game of Thrones, it was Tyrion who ultimately ended up as HAND OF THE KING (Vice President) when a new era was birthed (thanks to himself and Jon Snow, who majorly saw to that new era). Jon Snow used his sword. Tyrion used his mind.
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TYRION LANNISTER: MIND OVER MATTER
When the war (in GAME OF THRONES) was over and a young (teenage) King emerged, he couldn’t think of a better person to serve as HAND OF THE KING than Tyrion Lannister, the intelligible dwarf! One might ask: with Tyrion being who he is, how did he only get to end up as some sort of vice to a teenage King? You should really know that Tyrion had served as HAND OF THE KING twice (during the war). First, he was “hand of the king” to his nephew, a LOUSILY ARROGANT TEENAGE KING whose arrogance got him murdered. Second, he was “hand of the king” to the young, ambitious MOTHER OF DRAGONS: a queen in a CLASS OF HER OWN! Those two were inexperienced rulers and needed a Tyrion Lannister in their cabinet.
Thanks to the dwarf’s brains, the young lousy king “won” his one and only battle before being murdered. Also, thanks to the dwarf, the MOTHER OF DRAGONS conquered the seven kingdoms (with the aiding of one of her dragons too). Tyrion showed her how to put the dragons to good use, and equally TALKED ONE OF THE DRAGONS into going in search for her when she got missing. As in, Tyrion was reasoning with dragons, better than humans reason with humans nowadays.
The mother of dragons had three dragons, and thanks to the dwarf, she risked her life and that of her dragons to fight the ARMY OF THE UNDEAD (for the ultimate good of humanity); remember? Don’t get it twisted, her dragons played great roles in seeing to the defeat of the ARMY OF THE UNDEAD (though she lost one of her dragons in the course). After the defeat of the army of the undead, the war of the kingdoms continued. But by this time, all the kings who had their eyes on the throne had lost their lives and their armies, leaving only two FIERCE QUEENS to contend for the IRON THRONE.
The mother of dragons won the war with the help of Tyrion, Jon Snow, her last surviving dragon, and her fierce army! After having lost her first dragon in the war against the army of the undead, she lost the second while warring with her LAST SURVIVING RIVAL, the other queen: CERSEI LANNISTER (the dwarf’s sister). The dwarf didn’t mind JOINING FORCES with his SISTER’S ENEMY against his sister. After all, it was for the ultimate good of the seven kingdoms.
At long last, his sister was killed by the mother of dragons. Tyrion didn’t want her dead though. He only wanted her to concede the throne to the mother of dragons (like Mr. President did). It was obvious that the mother of dragons would win anyway. So, why not just surrender??? But Cercei wasn’t given to diplomacy or reasonability like her brother. In fact, she hated him for being a dwarf and would be happy to see him CHOKED TO DEATH WITH THE KNEE like GEORGE FLOYD (R.I.P).
But it was her who ended up dying, leaving no one else to contend for the throne with the mother of dragons. Howbeit, something happened. The mother of dragons got power drunk after her brutal victory in the fight that brought an end to the war. But she was already nurturing thoughts of continuing the violence by unleashing her remaining dragon on anyone who wouldn’t do her bidding. She wanted to rule by DICTATORSHIP, doing whatever she pleased, whenever she pleased. Killing whoever criticized her ILL DEEDS by unleashing her dragon on them. She was going to become a tyrant (if allowed).
If allowed to do that, there possibly would have been another war, or some sort of oppression by this young, fierce Mrs. First Lady of the seven kingdoms. Tyrion wouldn’t let that happen. He tried to talk her out of it (like he had talked her to the throne). But at this point, the mother of dragons felt she no longer needed Tyrion’s counsel. She became full of herself - so soon. Tyrion wouldn’t be a party to that! He wouldn’t endorse tyranny! So, he gave up his position as HAND OF THE KING. Because of that, the mother of dragons had him jailed. Indeed, power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely!
But, right from the confines of his dungeon cell-block, HE TALKED JON SNOW INTO MURDERING THE MOTHER OF DRAGONS (an act that got Jon Snow exiled from the seven kingdoms for the rest of his life). Jon Snow was a good guy, a really good guy. He didn’t think that murdering the mother of dragons was right. After the act, in remorse, he had asked Tyrion: “do you think what I did was right? It doesn’t feel right.” Guess what the dwarf’s reply was: “ASK ME AGAIN IN TEN YEARS!” With a tyrant on the throne, the seven kingdoms would have been a living hell in ten years’ time. But, with her DEAD AND GONE, the kingdoms would be a BLISSFUL PARADIES OF HAPPY BEINGS, AN UNENDING NEW ERA, as would be a NEW NIGERIA!!!
So, thanks to Tyrion’s mind and Jon Snow’s sword, the long-drawn-out war finally came to an end, even though Jon Snow was exiled by the new, young, teenage king (his supposed younger brother) who again gave Tyrion the chance to be HAND OF THE KING. Tyrion had declined. But then, the word of the king is power! This new teenage king was nothing like the other arrogant teenage king who was murdered. This one had gone through thick and thin in the course of his life, unlike the spoilt silly brat whose mother (the other queen) had corrupted with, should I say, “MOTHERLY LOVE?” I DOUBT! He was even a product of incest!!!
But this new teenage king, from being an agile climber, had become a cripple. Being a cripple boy in a war-infested era, he was moved by loyalists from place to place in an effort to find his true purpose. In that course, he harnessed superpowers that allowed him to travel back in time (whenever he wished), to uncover PAST AND BURIED TRUTHS. He uncovered old secrets and truths and kept uncovering new secrets and truths. Consequently, he became the keeper of ANCIENT KNOWLEDGE AND HISTORY, which ultimately qualified him to serve as KING in a new era of NO WAR: thanks to Tyrion the dwarf, who formed a new basis upon which a king should be CHOSEN BY THE PEOPLE.
Tyrion singlehandedly trashed the system of sons taking over from their fathers as kings. Such, and the likes, was the cause of the war in the first place. Now, kings had to be ELECTED by the people, just like Nigerians finally succeeded to PULL OFF in 2023. It was even Tyrion who pointed at the new teenage king, recommending him to pilot the affairs of the throne in the new era, his qualification being that he was a custodian of ancient truths and secrets of the seven kingdoms.
Being a seer, he contributed immensely to the defeat of the ARMY OF THE UNDEAD. As a matter of fact, he was the only threat of THE UNDEAD. After the war, who better was there to pilot the affairs of the kingdoms than the keeper of ancient knowledge and history? But this keeper of ancient knowledge and history knew quite well that it would take more than that; to rule over the kingdoms. He needed someone with leadership know-how, someone with colorful eloquence, one who could appeal to the minds of anyone, someone very smart, someone like Tyrion Lannister: THE DWARF!
It is absolutely safe to say that he needed someone like Mr. Vice President (who has absolutely everything in common with Tyrion). The differentiating factors between them would be that Tyrion is a dwarf while Mr. Vice President is a giant. Tyrion is old; Mr. Vice President is young. More so, Tyrion is fiction. Mr. Vice President is, should I say, “NON-FICTION?” And, perhaps, another differencing factor between them would be that Tyrion is a WHORE! But Mr. Vice President is married to the woman of his dreams: young, attractive, astonishing, beautiful, clever, and “NOT TOO YOUNG TO RUN,” just like Mr. Vice President (who is now THE PRESIDENT; along with his wife as THE FIRST LADY: thanks to NIGERIANS)!
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CONCLUSION
I guess that; now that things have gotten to this point; one can safely say that Senator Dino’s call for a rebooting of Nigeria has been achieved. But 2023 is just getting started. Like the mafias say: “AFTER A VICTORY, SHARPEN YOUR KNIFE.” 2023 has been victorious for the young founders of a new era in Nigeria. But what happens after this victory, is much more important than whatever happened prior to the victory. Nigerians hope that Mr. Vice President (now Mr. President), will not be corrupted by power, nor be absolutely corrupted by absolute power (like the MOTHER OF DRAGONS).
Well, if that happens, there’s always a Tyrion Lannister somewhere, ready to talk a Jon Snow into murdering a tyrant: (power freaks better roger that)! Thankfully, Mr. Vice President (now President) is an ambassador of everything good, just like Mr. President (now a normal citizen). And, talking about Mr. President, conceding the hot seat didn’t weigh him down like many imagined it would. He went back to living life to the fullest while keeping tabs with happenings in Nigeria. He went back to reading, digging, searching, self-development, and to everything that will help prepare him for leadership tomorrow. Just like he had said in his address, he would take another shot at the presidency, SOMETIME LATER!
Until then, all he’ll be doing is to upgrade himself so that another such opportunity doesn’t pass him again; maybe in 2027, 2031, or 20-whatever! But it certainly wouldn’t be when he’s become TOO OLD TO RUN. For now, he’s busy learning everything learnable, discovering everything discoverable, and searching everything searchable, even the scriptures, where he got to discover that the wisest man to have walked the earth (born of man and woman), had been in his kind of situation. He was king at a tender age, had no leadership experience, yet didn’t concede the throne.
The man in question is biblical KING SOLOMON. Almost immediately after his father (KING DAVID) passed away and he took over the throne of Israel, he gave an order to all the officers in charge of units of a thousand/hundred men, all the government officials, all the heads of families, and everyone else; COMMANDING THEM TO GO WITH HIM TO THE PLACE OF WORSHIP AT GIBEON. They went there because that was where the Tent of the LORD'S PRESENCE was located.
SOLOMON had a thousand animals killed and offered as a sacrifice to God. That very night, God appeared to him and asked what he (Solomon) would like Him (God) to do for him (Solomon). These were Solomon’s exact words:
“…O LORD GOD, YOU HAVE LET ME SUCCEED MY FATHER AS KING, EVEN THOUGH I AM VERY YOUNG AND DON'T KNOW HOW TO RULE. HERE I AM AMONG THE PEOPLE YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO BE YOUR OWN, A PEOPLE WHO ARE SO MANY THAT THEY CANNOT BE COUNTED. GIVE ME THE WISDOM I NEED TO RULE YOUR PEOPLE WITH JUSTICE; AND TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL. OTHERWISE, HOW WOULD I EVER BE ABLE TO RULE THESE GREAT PEOPLE OF YOURS?”
Pleased with Solomon’s request and the motive behind that request, God answered him thus: “because you have asked for the wisdom to rule justly, instead of long life for yourself, or riches, or the death of your enemies, I will do what you have asked. I will give you MORE WISDOM AND UNDERSTANDING THAN ANYONE HAS EVER HAD BEFORE, OR WILL EVER HAVE AGAIN. I will also give you what you have not asked for. All your life, you will have WEALTH AND HONOR, MORE THAN THAT OF ANY OTHER KING. And if you obey me and keep my laws and commands; as your father David did, I WILL GIVE YOU A LONG LIFE.”
Mr. President is set to replicate that event and become a wise man in the order of King Solomon. He seems to be quite sure that he would make that happen sooner than later; that God will also get to ask what he wants and he would reply like Solomon. LOL. DIS MR. PRESIDENT SEF! Maybe Mr. President is under the illusion that GOOD THINGS DO COME FROM NAZARETH. Good things from Nazareth??? But then again, is Mr. President really under an illusion to think so??? Or, can anything good really come out of Nazareth??? That would be a rhetorical question, as Nazareth is actually known to have produced the BEST TREASURE the world has ever been blessed with: JESUS; the son of God. Do you know Jesus??? Do you believe in the son of God???
It is such convictions that keep Mr. President always looking at the positive side of things. It is why he clings to sayings like: “if the sun refuses to shine, we will make it shine.” It is why he wouldn’t agree that POLITICS IS A DIRTY GAME. It is why he would often make reference to DWIGHT EISENHOWER’S submission, which holds that “POLITICS SHOULD BE THE PART-TIME PROFESSION OF EVERY CITIZEN.” To those who’d give their last drop of blood to see that a particular religion reigns supreme in Nigeria, he would have them understand that “the bible does not teach imposition of religion on any human. That is why God gave humans FREE WILL, which lets humans even choose to REBEL AGAINST THE GOD who gave them that free will in the first place!!!
In essence, there’s really no essence in religious crises of any sort, whether in the real world or on the internet. Thank Goodness that Mr. Vice President has finally emerged PRESIDENT-ELECT of the federal republic of Nigeria! All the religious religiosities should discontinue from this 2023 upward. If that task proves to be a HARD NUT TO CRACK for Mr. Vice President (president-elect), Mr. President will certainly be back at a later time to see to the enforcement of RELIGIOUS CEASE-FIRE in Nigeria! With man, this may seem IMPOSSIBLE! But with God, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!
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As my very own pastor, PASTOR ITORO ISONG would say: “IF IT DOES NOT HAPPEN NATURALLY, IT WILL HAPPEN SUPERNATURALLY!!!” In situations where THE WICKED attempts to resist upright and well-meaning leaders like Mr. President, PASTOR ITORO would have them understand that “THE UPRIGHT ARE TOO BLOODY TO BE BLOCKED!!!” And in addition, he would declare thus: “NO SHAKING!!!” After all, it is only “when the king (leader) is concerned with justice, that the nation will be strong. But when he is only concerned with money, he will ruin his country”: PROVERBS 29:4.
In all these, there are those who are of the opinion that the “NOT TOO YOUNG TO RUN” bill has seen a LOT OF YOUNGSTERS GETTING AHEAD OF THEMSELVES! I want to believe it is such people who my very own PASTOR ITORO ISONG, a COMMITTED MAN OF THE PULPIT, addressed in a RECENT FACEBOOK POST wherein he quoted ECCLESIASTES 4:15 which says: “I thought about all the people who live in this world, and I realized that somewhere among them, there is a YOUNG MAN who will TAKE THE KING'S PLACE.” (GNT). To this, the heavens have said AMEN! To this, THE EARTH also has said AMEN! To this, I, myself, say a very big AMEN! And to this, all the people say………
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WORKS CITED
1. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: “HALF OF A YELLOW SUN.”
2. Chinua Achebe (Late): “THERE WAS A COUNTRY.”
3. Game of Thrones: “THE MOVIE.”
4. Pastor Itoro Isong: “THE WORD.”
5. Pastor Tony Rapu: “INTERVIEW WITH PUNCH NEWSPAPER.”
6. Political Nigerian Events: “FACEBOOK POST OF JULY 14th, 2019.”
7. Professor Kalu Uka (Emeritus): “ARTICLE 31, A ROAD WELL CONQUERED.”
8. Professor Wole Soyinka: “OFFICIAL LAUNCH OF SOLUTION 17 IN LAGOS.”
9. Professor Wole Soyinka: “SECOND CONVOCATION LECTURE, ELIZADE UNIVERSITY, ILARA MOKIN, ONDO STATE.”
10. Nairaland: “ARTICLE ON POLITICS.”
11. @Truthfully83: “TWITTER NIGERIA.”
©Jezuzboi, 2020.
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