THE TURNAROUND
FADE IN:
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SCENE 1.
Drum roles echo in from the speakers, as Mr. Preacher enters stage energetically to declare the counsel of God. Excerpts from a prerecorded sermon follows as the drum roles diminishes. Mr. Preacher imitates the wordings of the prerecorded message--with corresponding demonstration...which gets the audience responding with resounding AMENs.
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MR. PREACHER
[The Message].
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Mr. Preacher finishes his powerful sermon and exits stage after reassuring the audience with prophetic declarations (from the prerecorded sermon) that leaves the audience in high spirit.
FADE OUT.
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SCENE 2.
Mr. Ruler enters stage, obviously disturbed. It is uncertain--the reason for his disturbance. But it soon becomes clear...the moment he starts to bitterly, upsettingly and resentfully mimic Mr. Preacher’s declarations...after pacing back and forth the stage for a while.
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MR. RULER
[Mimics Mr. Preacher].
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Two of his subjects soon join him onstage and try to pacify him. But he wouldn’t relax. Instead, he lashes out on them.
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SUBJECT 1
Able ruler, please relax. We are doing all we can to ensure that the declarations of that preacher doesn’t manifest in the lives of those church people.
SUBJECT 2
(Intercepts)
That is right, our able Ruler. We have sown seeds of discord among them to ensure that they are not of the same mind with one another...so that they may not have one voice with which to glorify and praise and honor God.
SUBJECT 1
Exactly, Mr. Ruler. That way, they will stop accepting and welcoming one another, and will not be filled with joy and peace, and will not abound in hope, and most importantly, will not overflow with confidence in those promises of God that has been declared to them by that preacher.
MR. RULER
(Cuts in aggressively)
But it’s not working nau!!! Can’t you people see that it’s not working??? This time three years ago, they were everywhere, shouting, “The Holy Spirit: His Power And Manifestation In My Life.”
(Grabs Subject 1 by the neck)
Did you not see the power of the Holy Spirit in their lives???
SUBJECT 1
(Struggles to speak)
I did.
MR. RULER
(Turns to Subject two, grabs him by the neck too)
Weren’t you overwhelmed by the manifestations of the Holy Spirit in their lives???
SUBJECT 2
(Struggles to speak)
I was.
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Tosses him away and he manages to keep to his feet.
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MR. RULER
...and the year after, they were everywhere again, shouting “Return To Sender!” Were we not here together, watching and seeing how every weapon that was formed against them--failed to prosper??? And how they condemned every tongue that rose up against them in judgement???
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In deep frustration, he gets emotional, almost moved to angry tears.
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MR. RULER
Then last year again, they were everywhere, shouting “Irreversible And Irrevocable Blessing.” And up until now, neither me nor you (subject 1) nor you (subject 2) has been able to reverse or revoke those blessings. Now, this year, they are here again, shouting “My Turn For The Testimony,” and you are here telling me you have done the same thing you did the last three years that didn’t work??? You want to fumble this year again and let these people overcome us with the words of their testimony??? Huh??? Because I see that happening if I let you handle things again this year. No wonder the wise ones say that “if you want something done right, hire a professional.” Now come here, and I will send you to someone I know--who is able to get these people out of the way...once and for all. Come!
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Mr. Ruler exits stage, followed by his subjects.
FADE OUT.
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SCENE 3.
Ette-Ubom enters stage--dressed in oversized tuxedo, with a massive dusty old bible in his hand, singing in a low voice...in vernacular.
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ETTE-UBOM
(Singing)
Yak adoro ke iwot mmi, adoro mmo oo (let it fall off my head and rest on their heads).
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He gets onstage and launches into comical Davidic dancing, as his singing intensifies. The seeming “praise session” heightens as the time goes, getting more comical and ridiculous. The comic relief climaxes as Mr. Ruler’s subjects enter stage to join in the singing/dancing, exchanging random shouts of salute amidst their artful dance/song exhibition, until......
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SUBJECT 1
(Hails)
Ette-Ubom!!! Prophet Ette-Ubom Edem Enyong!!!
SUBJECT 2
(Intercepts)
Oku-Ubong eyen ima!!!
ETTE-UBOM
(Merrily, Calmly)
You are welcome my brothers. You may be seated in the presence of the Lord.
SUBJECT 1/SUBJECT 2
Far above principalities and powers.
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All three men sit, Ette-Ubom in the middle.
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ETTE-UBOM
You are welcome once again, my brothers.
SUBJECT 1/SUBJECT 2
Thank you, Ette-Ubom.
ETTE-UBOM
The bible says that “a toad does not run in the daytime for nothing.” So, for two toads to run...two grown up toads for that matter...to run, not even in the daytime, but in the nighttime, then something is terribly wrong somewhere. But don’t worry. You have come to the one and only “Prophet Edem Enyong.” Your worries are over! No problem is too hard for me to solve. Now tell me, what brings you to me?
SUBJECT 1
Thank you Ette-Ubom. Without much ado, I will proceed to the reason why we are here. Ette-Ubom, there are these sets of people that have been a source of great disturbance to our master. Once upon a time, they were in chains, like the Israelites in the land of Egypt. But just as Moses led the Israelites out of slavery, their so-called Messiah--broke their gates of brass and cut their bars of iron in asunder, and they became free. All they had to do was to believe in Him as their Lord and Savior!
SUBJECT 2
That’s right, Ette-Ubom. And ever since they were freed, they have been talking big, thinking big, acting big, and doing everything big...like they own the world.
(Irritatingly)
And there’s this preacher who keeps feeding them with the undiluted word of God’s grace, which has built them up and given them an inheritance among all those who are sanctified. Our master fears that all he has laboured so hard to gather--will be given to these people as an inheritance...these church people!
SUBJECT 1
That is where you come in! We have tried all we know to stop those people. But as it has turned out thus far, they are too bloody to be blocked! But like you said, no problem is too hard for you to solve. Our master believes in you. So he sent us to you--that we may bring you with us--to solve this problem once and for all. He has offered to pay you anything for your service: dollars, pounds, euros, but not naira.
MR. PREACHER
(Hysterical laughter)
Your master is indeed generous, and for such generous man, I will do anything. Now, my brothers, it is already night, and we cannot begin to journey back to your master. Therefore, spend the night here, and we will proceed to your master by morning. Also, you know that I am a man of God. So I will spend the night praying to God, to commit this cause into His hands, so that it may be successful. Now come with me, let me have something prepared for you to eat, then I will show you to your rooms where you will spend the night till tomorrow...while I consult with God.
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Led by Ette-Ubom, the men exit stage amidst random excited talks.
FADE OUT.
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SCENE 4.
Ette-Ubom returns onstage, seats with legs folded, and launches into mystic meditation. Then he begins to chant oracles, exuding spooky spiritualness. His spiritual position is unclear.
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ETTE-UBOM
Oh, Jehovah! Jehovah Nisi, Jehovah Shama! Jehovah Ebenezer! The Lord of hosts is your name! You have heard the plight of these men who have come to me for help. I know that all power belongs to you, and that you have the final say in all things. Therefore, let your final say once again favour my personal purpose, so that I may enrich myself with dollars and pounds and euros this time. You know that ever since I started this business, I have only earned in naira. A door has now opened for me to enter into realms of foreign currencies. Please don’t fail me, because your word says that “opportunity comes but once.” Thank you for doing exceeding abundantly, above all I’ve asked or imagined, in the name of your son, Jesus. Amen.
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Ette-Ubom follows up with a song of praise...in vernacular.
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ETTE-UBOM
(Singing)
Oh, Jehovah, omo fon ido, ame anyene ima, enye owo atie nta afo.
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As he sings on with eyes closed, an angel enters stage with a rod in his hands. He walks in stealthily and stations himself behind Ette-Ubom who is deep in supposed “worship,” still singing the same song. His song of worship soon switches to confused [soft] cry of pain the moment the angel starts to [softly] bang his head with the rod in his hands (in chastisement). Without getting up, moving here nor there, or turning to the right or to the left, Ette-Ubom reacts to pain. The angel is invisible to him. Howbeit, he hears the angel’s chastising words.
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ANGEL
You, this fraudulent and greedy personality, always acting in bad faith and in deception, pretending to entertain one set of intentions while acting under the influence of another...all in a bid to make unjust gain. Read your bible to build your character, you will not hear! Study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman that need not be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth, you will not hear!
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Ette-Ubom groans in pain from the strikes of the angel’s rod, meandering his body uncoordinatedly, comically, while the angel’s chastisement continues.
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ANGEL
Which bible says that “a toad does not run in the daytime for nothing?” Ehn? Which bible says that “opportunity comes but once?” Can you see how degraded you have become because of your greed? You now jeopardize people’s destinies for unjust gain. You deceive the gullible ones and defraud them of their money. You make young men soil their hands in evil...in the name of assignment, just to make quick money. And you deceive young girls into believing that you can give them husbands by bottling up a picture of the man they desire to marry. You are evil!
ETTE-UBOM
Please. Please. Please.
ANGEL
You even have the guts to pray to the God you do not entirely honour, asking him to favour your selfish cause. Does it mean nothing to you that the people you are about to rise against--are the people of God, blessed and favoured of the Lord? Of course not. All you care about is dollars and pounds and euros!
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The strikes get harder, and Ette-Ubom cries out in agony.
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ANGEL
Receive sense in Jesus’ name!
ETTE-UBOM
(uncoordinatedly, in agony)
Amen. Amen.
ANGEL
Receive sense in Jesus’ name.
ETTE-UBOM
(uncoordinatedly, in agony)
Amen. Amen.
ANGEL
(Stops striking him)
Now listen to the word of the Lord. Go with the men who have come to you. Follow them to their master. But you will only do what I ask you to do, or else, the wrath of God will fall on you right where you stand, and that will be your end. You hear me?
ETTE-UBOM
(Still terrified)
Yes, I hear.
ANGEL
When the time comes, your eyes will be opened to see clearly the purpose and will of God for those church people and you shall declare according to what you see. Am I clear?
ETTE-UBOM
(Still terrified)
Yes, you are. Sorry. Yes I am. Oh God, sorry. Yes, we are. Jesus ooo. I understand. I understand.
ANGEL
You better understand. Now, go and sleep. And consider changing your ways before it gets to late. The gates of hell are already open to swallow your kind.
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The angel gives him one last bang on the head, and Ette-Ubom screams aloud in pains of utter agony...while the angel exits stage through the path in which he came. Ette-Ubom’s scream awakens the two men--who hurriedly enter stage to inquire about what’s wrong. Ette-Ubom manages to pull himself together, as he gathers himself up, obviously trying to hide his terror from the men. His strange behavior leaves the men puzzled. Yet, Ette-Ubom wouldn’t say a word to them--to calm their nerves. He simply urges them to get set for the journey tomorrow.
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ETTE-UBOM
(Resolutely)
Gentlemen, go back to bed. I will be doing the same right away. Tomorrow we go to your master. And whatever the Lord shows to me, that, I shall declare to your master. I will only do what God would have me do. Nothing else. Goodnight.
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He walks past the men inside (offstage), almost rudely. His terror wouldn’t let him deal even a little bit of politeness to his guests anymore. Puzzled beyond measure, the men look at each other in utter amazement. Then reluctantly, the follow after Ette-Ubom, back to their rooms, exiting stage.
FADE OUT.
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SCENE 5.
Mr. Ruler storms his way onstage, more disturbed than before. He paces back and forth, soliloquizing distressfully.
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MR. RULER
So after I have worked so hard, killed many people, oppressed the helpless ones, and outwitted competitors to gather up all that I have gathered up for myself and my generations after me, a bunch of singing, dancing, praising and worshipping people will come and take it from me in the name of: “a sinners wealth being stored up for the righteous?” Ehn? And that God gives wisdom and knowledge and happiness to the man who pleases him, while He gives sinners the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the ones who pleases Him? What nonsense! That was how the Israelites left Egypt as slaves, only to destroy the Amorite kings and take over their territories. Even before they crossed the Jordan into the land of Canaan to do the same thing to them, they had already planned to divide the land among themselves. As in, the Israelites stood outside the land of Canaan and planned how to divide the cities of Canaan among themselves, with the Canaanites still living in the land and very unaware of what was going on. And these church people want to do the same thing to me because... “it is their turn for the testimony???” Where are these idiots that I sent on an errand for God’s sake???
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Just then, the two subjects enter stage with Ette-Ubom. On sighting them, Mr. Ruler hurries to Ette-Ubom and welcomes him most passionately and desperately, ignoring greetings from his subjects.
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MR. RULER
Ette-Ubom you are welcome. Forgive my desperation, but I am very close to losing my mind. There are these sets of people who have become a problem to me...
ETTE-UBOM
...your subjects have told me all about them, and I am here to address that matter once and for all.
MR. RULER
(Excitedly)
Thank you Ette-Ubom. I will pay you in whatever currency you desire...
ETTE-UBOM
...except naira. Yes, your subject have told me about that too. But hear me, Mr. Ruler. Even if you give me your house full of silver and gold, I cannot go beyond the command of the Lord, to do either good or bad of my own will. But what the Lord says, that will I speak. And we better get started with that. To stir the God of these church people into declaring His counsel, we must go on our knees and worship Him, like they do.
MR. RULER
(Unbelievably)
What???
ETTE-UBOM
Mr. Ruler, do you want this done or not?
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Mr. Ruler pulls himself together. Though uncomfortable with the idea, his determined quest to ruin the people urges him on, and he obliges.
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MR. RULER
Ette-Ubom, curse these people for me. I have heard that those you curse, are cursed. And those you bless, are blessed. Therefore curse them, and rob them of that testimony they have set out to handle in this season of testimony. Make a mess of them and bring them to nothing, and I will give you anything you ask for.
ETTE-UBOM
Like I said, even if you give me your house full of silver and gold, I cannot go beyond the command of the Lord, to do either good or bad of my own will. But what the Lord says, that will I speak. Now, get on your knees.
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All men kneel, and Ette-Ubom starts a song of worship: “That is why you are called Jehovah. What you say you will do, that is what you will do. That is why you are called Jehovah.” They repeat the song twice, then Ette-Ubom rises to his feet. As Mr. Ruler and his subject make to rise too, he stops them, informing that they have to remain on their knees while he speaks.
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ETTE-UBOM
You must not rise. The Lord wants you to be on your knees while I declare what he has just put in my mouth to declare. Please remain kneeling. Now, hear the word of the Lord concerning these church people...His perfect will and purpose for them in this season of testimony and beyond. “How can I curse those God has not cursed? God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? I have received a command to bless the people. Indeed God has blessed these people, and I cannot change it. God has not beheld iniquity in the people, for he has forgiven them, neither has He seen mischief or perverseness among them, for He has shown them mercy. The Lord their God is with them, and the shout of praise to the Lord their King is among them. Surely, there is no enchantment against these church people, neither is there any divination against them.”
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Unable to bear it any longer, the now enraged Mr. Ruler rebukes angrily.
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MR. RULER
What is this thing that you are doing? I called you here to curse these people. But here you are, showering blessings on them. Who can now stop them from handling their testimony? Please revoke those blessings, and curse these people for me!
ETTE-UBOM
The blessings of these people are irreversible and irrevocable. Any attack on their blessings will return to sender...because of the power of the Holy Spirit which is at work in them. Whatever harm you do to them--will turn to them for a testimony.
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Mr. Ruler loses it completely and jumps to his feet to treat Ette-Ubom to a fight. Ette-Ubom struggles to loosen Mr. Ruler’s grip on him, still declaring the remaining words of blessing on the people. In a bid to cut him short, Mr. Ruler commands his subjects to throw Ette-Ubom out. As they do so, Ette-Ubom leaves some last words for Mr. Ruler.
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ETTE-UBOM
Whoever blesses them, is blessed. But whoever curses them, is cursed.
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The subjects drag Ette-Ubom offstage, leaving a frustrated Mr. Ruler sobbing very bitterly. Seeing that he is helplessly defeated, he joins in blessing them, since he can’t beat them.
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MR. RULER
Whoever curses them, is cursed. Whoever blesses them, is blessed. God bless you! God bless you!! God bless you!!!
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He exits stage dispiritedly, downcast, defeated. A heated prerecorded sermon fires in!
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THE END.
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