PAYDAY
FADE IN:
INT. SOUND FACTORY FM - DAY
(HOODIE, JB, SHARON)
Screen fades in on JB in an FM studio. He’s a radio presenter, anchoring a motivational session, as listeners call-in to have talks with him on the discussed subject. A motivational tune titled “Sio Inwek,” plays in the background...lightening up the studio atmosphere.
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JB
It is always fun hanging out with you all out there discussing some of the issues of life that we’ve got to overcome in order to stand strong and attain greatness in life! Today our talks today has been about how to end struggles and live the good life! In case you are just tuning in, this is Sound Factory 109.2FM; and I still remain your favorite radio host, Jezuzboi. Alright fellas! The phone lines are still open! You can keep calling in with your issues and let’s see how to help you resolve them!
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Phone rings.
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JB
Hello! Good evening!
HOODIE
Hello J, what’s up.
JB
I’m good, mahn! What’s your name and where are you calling from?
HOODIE
It’s your boy, Hoodie, calling from E-Town.
JB
Hoodie! Nice to have you on the show my bro. So what’s your issue today?
HOODIE
J! I hustle hard everyday like most young guys out there. I do just about anything to survive! I don’t even have a job specification anymore. My guys who started out with me are all big boys now. But I’m still here, waiting tables, shuttling bikes in town, yet nothing is forthcoming! I write blogs, but I do not have traffic on the blog! No one reads my stuff, J! All I do is pay bills with the little I earn. I pay light bills! Phone bills! House rent! I even pay for my girlfriend’s hairdo every single week!
JB
(Exclaims)
Say what?
HOODIE
I’m frustrated mehn! I don’t know what to do anymore. Should I blame the government for all these? Perhaps my parents? Maybe I should blame my pastor!
JB
Alright Hoodie, I really appreciate you calling in to share your plight with us. Personally, I feel for you mehn! You see, life’s not a bed of roses mehn. And you’ve got to stop comparing yourself with the guys you started out with. Everyone has a different journey to embark on, and our individual experiences might be relevant to a safe arrival at our destinations. You just gotta hang in there and keep doing what you’re doing. There’s always a payday for all of us. I have an advise for you, though. Cut out your girlfriend’s hairdo from your budget and have some savings.
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Hangs up. Another caller phones.
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JB
Hello! Welcome to the show! What’s your name and where are you calling from?
SHARON
My name is Sharon and I’m calling from E-Town.
JB
You’re welcome to the show, Sharon! So what’s your issue?
SHARON
Did I hear you advise the last caller to cut out his girlfriend’s hairdo from his budget? Like, are you being serious? So what the hell am I supposed to do if my boyfriend shuts me out of his budget? You think it’s any easier for us ladies? I apply for a job in the corporate world and the big shots wanna have me on the menu for weeks before considering my application. I try to get dirty with menial jobs but my fellow ladies, and even you guys, view me as being less a lady! Because I can’t keep up with the stigma, I ditch the menial job and try to keep up with the Joneses by finding myself a rich dude who gladly foots my bills. And you’re there telling him to shut me out of his budget? Are you being serious? You’re so unbelievable!
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Hangs up.
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JB
Sharon, I think you misunderstood me right there. My advise was for the other guy who obviously is not as financially stable as your “rich dude.” You see, if your rich dude can afford to buy you the world without calling in here to lament over your expensive lifestyle, then we don’t have a problem! But wait a minute, did you say you try to keep up with the Joneses by finding yourself a rich dude who gladly foots your bills? Like seriously? Haha. I love my country girls! Alright! It’s time to take a short musical break with DJ Murphy on the wheels of steel. You just sit back there and enjoy this motivational tune by the hope preacher, Sweeney Ekong. He calls this one “Sio Inwek,” translated to mean “Put In Energy”. If the paychecks must keep coming in, you’ve got to put energy into the hustle. Over to you DJ Murphy!
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Camera jumps to DJ Murphy scratching his turntable and pulling some skillful DJ stunts, as Sweeney Ekong’s “Sio Inwek” jams in hard. Camera pans across the studio to reveal diverse folks moving to the rhythm. Screen fades to black, as we see the beginning credits role in.
CUT TO:
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INT. JB & MURPHY’S ROOM
(JB, MURPHY)
JB and Murphy are established in bed, as JB sleep talks. The radio session was a dream. Disturbed by his mumbles, Murphy awakes, takes an irritating look at JB anchoring the session in his dream, gives him a hot slap! He snaps out of slumber, looking all confused.
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JB
Oh boy! Wetin happen nah? Why you wire me dat kain slap?
MURPHY
I go slap you again! Na everyday you go dey sleep dey talk all those your yeye radio talk for dis house? If na to work for radio station dey hungry you, why you no go apply for the work? Ehn? Instead of to dey sleep dey disturb me for dis house?
JB
Oh boy! Do you have any idea the dream you just interrupted? See, I became a popular radio host in one of the biggest radio stations in town. You even worked with me in the studio! Omo, see, there’s a job opportunity for you in my dream!
MURPHY
Make thunder fire you dier! You hear me? Make beta thunder fire you! I don tell you oh, no dey disturb my life again for night with your rubbish dream! Okay na!
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Murphy grabs his wristwatch to check out the time. It’s 5:30AM.
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MURPHY
Morning don reach sef. Person go lie down mek ee sleep, dem no go gree am sleep! Mtcheew. Mek I go baff come find wetin I go do today wey go put money for pocket.
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Murphy gets off bed and heads to the bathroom. Camera captures JB all excited about his dream. He doesn’t seem bothered about Murphy’s tongue-lashing. We see a montage of both guys taking turns to shower, after which they dress and leave for work. We see them leaving their compound and parting ways in opposite directions as the step outside of the compound.
FADE TO:
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INT. THE MONARCHY HOTEL (RECEPTION/BAR) - CONTINUOUS
(AMANDA, JB, JEFF, SHARON, TINA)
We see Tina, the receptionist, anxiously checking her wristwatch at short intervals, as we hear Jeff having an argument in the bar with his sister, Amanda. Tina is worried. The reason for her worry can’t be placed. Camera cuts to Jeff and Amanda battling each other with words.
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AMANDA
Jeff! This is not the ancient centuries when African women were good for nothing other than childbearing! For goodness sake, the order of things have changed! Look at me. Dad sent me to school and I graduated with flying colors! I see no reason I shouldn’t practice the profession I spent four good years in the university studying!
JEFF
You went to school, yes! You graduated with flying colors, yes! That raises your value in the marriage market! Amanda, forget this equality crap that’s being preached by rebellious women here and there! Dad has no problem taking care of mom! Your husband shouldn’t have a problem taking care of you! I sure as hell don’t have a problem taking care of my wife! This thing is simple! Quit the drama!
AMANDA
Gosh! You’re just like our father!
JEFF
And you should be just like our mother!
AMANDA
I see no reason why I should be like our mother!
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Camera cuts to the gate of the premises where we see JB alighting from a bike and making payment for the ride there. He steps in, walks towards the reception. Tina spots him from afar and gestures to him to hurry down. Confused, he obliges with obvious curiosity and asks her:
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JB
What’s going on? Why are you tensed?
TINA
(Draws his attention to Jeff/Amanda’s debate)
Why am I tensed? Can’t you hear small Oga’s voice? He was here since 7:00AM and you’re just coming! Did you wake up late again today because you were busy flying a private jet, touring the whole world in one of those your malaria dreams?
JB
As in ehn! This time, I was a radio host, anchoring one of the biggest radio shows and solving people’s problems. People were just calling in and telling me their issues and I was just giving them solutions anyhow. You’re not gonna believe that...
TINA
(Shuts him up)
Abeg spare me the details! Didn’t you say you want see small Oga and suggest to him how to revive his dying company? Haven’t you been trying to see him for that?
JB
Yes, of course.
TINA
And after three months of not being able to meet him due to his “busy” schedule, you’re finally this close to meeting him. And instead of doing so, you’re here, telling me malaria dreams with so much passion. See, if this company folds up, I don’t have anywhere else to work and earn money. So, if you have an idea that can save this dying company and preserve my job, please go and share it with him now!
JB
But he’s having a conversation with somebody at the moment.
TINA
Which somebody? Amanda? Is that one somebody? What does she know? Is it not just to talk, talk, and talk, instead of looking for a husband to marry? Mtchew! Abeg go in there and meet him! Hope you carried that your proposal along today as usual!
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JB affirms with a nod but hesitates to go in. Tina sends him in with an energetic push.
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TINA
Go jhoor!
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Camera cuts to the inside (bar) and we see JB stumbling in from the reception to interrupt Jeff and Amanda’s argument whose attention quickly fall on him, their eyes firmly fixated on him.
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JB
Boss, I’m really sorry to interrupt you like this. But I’ve been wanting to meet you for the past three months. I know you’re quite a busy person and don’t have time for too much talks. That’s why I put down all I have to say to you in this proposal. It’s about the company. Once you go through it, you’ll appreciate the burden I have in my heart for this company. You see, this hotel has fallen short in terms of patronage. But in this proposal is a witty strategy that can magically get us back in business.
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Just then, Jeff’s girlfriend, Sharon, from Jb’s dream, storms in with loud pleasantries from afar. Irritated by her presence, Amanda takes a seat in anticipation of the drama to follow.
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SHARON
Baby boo boo boo...
JEFF
Ohhh, my Tom-Tom Micky-Micky...
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The lovers continue gushing over each other until Sharon gets close enough and gives Jeff a hug. JB notices Sharon’s voice and quickly flashes back to the lady who called during his radio show in his dream. He’s amazed. Meanwhile, Amanda gives Sharon a controlled irritating look. Sharon simply throws a careless and disdainful “hi” at Amanda. Amanda returns the unkind gesture. Without saying a word to JB or Amanda, Jeff clutches his arm around Sharon’s waist and moves out with her. As they walk past the reception, Tina gives them an irritating look. JB makes to walk away with his proposal. But Amanda stops him.
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AMANDA
Hey! Let me take a look at that.
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JB excitedly hands her the proposal and takes a sit in readiness to discuss the content of his proposal. She gives him a puzzling look, as he sits confidently, very ready to talk. Amanda dismisses him warmly as a sophisticated lady. JB manages to keep his high self-esteem intact.
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AMANDA
You can go.
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Lightly embarrassed, he leaves. Amanda watches him. He exits the door and Amanda shakes her head with a smile. She finds him funny. On seeing him over at the reception, Tina asks;
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TINA
How did it go?
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JB simply gives her the “I don’t know” gesture and walks out, leaving her confused. Camera cuts to Amanda reviewing the proposal and responding positively to it. She’s soon done with the review, looking very impressed. We see her rise and leave with the proposal in her hand.
CUT TO:
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INT. THE MONARCHY HOTEL (RECEPTION) - CONTINUOUS
(AMANDA, TINA)
We see Tina flirting with a male guest who just checks in and in the process of proceeding to his room. As the guest lustfully rains complements on Tina with Igbo ascent, Tina blushes “mumutiously”. Amanda comes in to meet the drama and Tina quickly resets to default. However, the guest keeps up the drama, winking at Tina who is now wishing he quits the drama. Finally he leaves, still winking till he’s out of sight. Tina quickly regains composure.
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TINA
Good morning small ma! Your dress is very beautiful today oh!
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Amanda just gives her a stern and somewhat disdaining look, then asks;
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AMANDA
Where is JB?
TINA
He’s at the bush bar doing some cleaning. Should I call him for you?
AMANDA
No. Never mind.
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Amanda leaves the reception and we see a puzzled Tina consumed with curiosity.
CUT TO:
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EXT. THE MONARCHY HOTEL (BUSH BAR) - CONTINUOUS
(AMANDA, JB)
We see JB doing some cleaning, as camera cuts to the opposite to establish Amanda walking down to the bush bar. She gets to him and initiates a conversation with a graceful compliment.
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AMANDA
You seem like a hardworking person.
JB
(Blushes)
Well, I don’t think I have any other choice. Ana nsa sad mba nsio inwek nsin ke hustle so that uwem anyie melody, because, hustle imi yeghe melody, aya andoro.
AMANDA
(Confused)
Excuse me?
JB
Oh, I’m sorry about that. I’m so sorry. I was simply saying I have no other choice than to hang on to the hustle and put more energy into work so that life can be melodious. I didn’t know when I switched into tongues. I’m so sorry about that.
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JB unconsciously graces his sayings with rap gestures, leaving Amanda speechlessly marveled. On noticing her, he tries to comport himself. But Amanda warmly dismisses him.
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AMANDA
Well, I read through your proposal. I think I buy the idea. Have a seat, let’s talk.
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JB excitedly draws Amanda a seat and grabs a seat across the table right opposite Amanda.
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AMANDA
Are you sure it’s going to work?
JB
Absolutely. You see, everyone wants to have a taste of the good life. Sadly, only a few can afford it. So, if we make the good life affordable enough for the middle and lower class, we’re bound to steal the spotlight from the big shots in the hospitality business. We have a classic facility here: standard rooms, comfortable environment, parking space, and every other thing. All we have to do is slash our lodging rate to just N1,000, on the condition that guests won’t get housekeeping services from us. We give them a room with a bed in it. They come with their bedsheets, pillowcases, towels, tissue, toilet soap, and everything they need to make their stay worthwhile. Trust me ma, many people from the lower and middle class will jump at the offer!
AMANDA
Sure about that?
JB
I haven’t been this sure about anything! They really don’t mind serving themselves like that if they can sleep in standard rooms like ours for just N1,000, as against the N5,000 to N10,000 they’d spend on the same rooms in other guest houses and hotels. Think about the newlyweds who can’t afford the five-star honeymoon treat. Think about the Okada riders who only get close to such luxury in their daydreams.
AMANDA
You seem really confident about this idea. I’ll talk to my dad and brother. But you’ll have to defend it before them, and I expect you to be this convincing when doing so.
JB
That won’t be a problem at all. I’ll handle it perfectly.
AMANDA
Get ready. You’re doing that tomorrow.
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An excited JB thanks Amanda lavishly for considering his proposal. It’s a privilege he treasures. Amanda just walks away gracefully after receiving his thanks. JB reaches for his phone and calls Murphy to share the good news. Over at the club, we see Murphy scratching the turntable when the call comes in. The music is so loud, so he can’t hear the phone ring. We see him moving to the rhythm of the song, as he skillfully scratches the turntable. Soon, we notice his phone cease to ring. The focus then returns to JB who expresses light frustration over the unanswered call. He pockets his phone and gets back to work, buried in excitement.
FADE OUT.
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INT. CLUB - NIGHT
Camera opens on the sky to establish the moon which is indicative of the time of the day. JB stops by the club to see Murphy and break the good news to him in person. As we see Murphy doing his thing, camera cuts from him to the door with JB making entrance. He gestures at Murphy who quickly takes off his headphone and heads out of the booth to meet JB. They shake hands and sit to talk. We notice excitement, as Murphy calls on the bartender. But he’s too far away. Murphy then rises to the bar and gets JB a drink. Amazingly, it’s a bottle of water. JB can’t believe his eyes. He attempts to query Murphy over it but Murphy quickly heads back to his duty post, leaving JB amazed. Left with no choice, he grabs it and leaves.
FADE TO BLACK.
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INT. JB & MURPHY'S ROOM - THE NEXT DAY
A loud alarm awakes JB and Murphy from sleep, as we see a montage of both guys taking turns to take a shower as usual, after which they get dressed and leave for work. We see them leaving the compound and parting ways in opposite directions upon stepping out of the gate.
CUT TO:
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I/E. THE MONARCHY HOTEL (RECEPTION/BAR) - CONTINUOUS
(AMANDA, JB, JEFF, TINA)
We see Tina, the receptionist, anxiously pacing back and forth in the reception, checking her wristwatch at short intervals as usual. JB suddenly hurries in and Tina rushes to him fiercely.
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TINA
This boy! Must you always come to work late? Go in there! They’re waiting for you!
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Tina sends him in with an energetic push. From the inside, we see JB stumbling in to meet Amanda and Jeff all seated and waiting. Jeff’s girlfriend, Sharon, is also there...all loved up.
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JB
I’m really sorry boss. I was caught in traffic.
JEFF
(Cuts in with a wave)
It’s alright. Sit down. Well, my sister forced me to go through your proposal, and I must say, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever read. But for the sake of family, I will approve of it and allocate some money into actualizing that whatever! However, be rest assured to lose your job if I don’t at least recover the money I’m putting into it.
JB
Boss, trust me, you won’t regret this! You will get your money back! Even more!
JEFF
I hope so.
FADE TO BLACK.
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I/E. THE MONARCHY HOTEL - DAY
(AMANDA, JB, JB & AMANDA)
Camera opens on a commercial of JB and Amanda taking turns to hype the rare offer suggested by JB. As they hype, we see accompanying visuals portraying their words. As the commercial runs, we see people watching it from homes and listening to it on their radio sets.
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JB
Have you ever fantasized about stepping out of the confines of your one-room apartment or comfy self-contained flat to enjoy the comforts of a five-star suite?
AMANDA
Ever wondered how pleasant life would be if everyone of us could afford such luxury irrespective of our financial statuses? Whether rich, poor, or middle-class?
JB
Like they say, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride. But not to worry. The Monarchy Hotel is set to make your wish of having a good time in a 5-star facility come true. All you have to do is visit us at the Monarchy Hotel with just N1,000!
AMANDA
Yes! Visit us at The Monarchy Hotel, and with just N1,000, you can have any of our highly sophisticated rooms for 24 hours! Isn’t that a hell of a mouth-watering offer?
JB
Absolutely! Only that you’re not entitled to the benefits that come with securing a room in a hotel. We only give you a standard room with a bed in it and unlimited water. You must come with everything you’ll need to make your stay worthwhile.
AMANDA
Oh yes! You come with your bedspread, your pillowcase, your towel, your bathing soap, and just about every other thing you may need to make your stay worthwhile. If you ask me, this is an offer like no other, specially for newlyweds who can hardly afford the 5-star honeymoon treat. Or bikers who only relish such luxury in dreams.
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We then see a near mammoth crowd flocking into The Monarchy Hotel with bedspreads and various items to grab the mouthwatering offer. It gets to a time when some rush in to grab the mouthwatering offer but are told that all the rooms are filled. It’s a hilarious sight to behold.
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JB & AMANDA
(Round off the commercial)
The Monarchy Hotel: making your hospitality dream come true!
FADE TO BLACK.
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INT. THE MONARCHY HOTEL (BAR) - DAY
(AMANDA, DAD, JB, JEFF)
We see JB, Amanda, Jeff, and Sharon seated while the other staff remain standing. It’s a jolly scene, as they drink to celebrate the highly successful revamping of The Hotel...thanks to JB.
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JEFF
I never would have imagined that such a dumb idea would work. I’m impressed. I’m really impressed. Good work JB. And to Amanda, what can I say? You’re more than just a woman. You’re a visionary. Kudos! Now, let the celebration continue!
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They resume jollification. Just then, Amanda reaches for her phone. She has a call. She rushes out to answer it. We notice her converse shortly with the unknown caller, then rushes back in and gestures on JB to come with her. JB obliges. On getting outside, she hands him the phone.
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AMANDA
It’s my dad. He wants to have a word with you.
JB
(Surprised, grabs the phone)
Hello Sir.
DAD
Hello, young man, I saw the commercial that you did with my daughter. It’s top notch! I’m also aware of the result it has yielded. I hear you’re a cleaner in my hotel. I am happy to announce to you that your days as a cleaner have ended. I need you and my daughter here in London city to run commercials in my radio station. You’ll serve better as an OAP than a cleaner. Kudos! Now hand the phone to my daughter.
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JB hands the phone over to Amanda.
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AMANDA
Hello dad.
DAD
Amanda, You’ve always wanted to be more than a wife and a mother, haven’t you?
AMANDA
Yes dad.
DAD
Here’s your chance! I want you to work with that young man to make my radio station the talk of London; just like you did with the hotel. I need the same result you got with the hotel. Prepare to travel in a month’s time. Good luck! Good bye!
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Dad hangs up. Amanda and JB celebrate the opening.
FADE TO BLACK.
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INT. THE MONARCHY FM (LONDON CITY) - DAY
(AMANDA, JB, MURPHY)
We see JB and Amanda actively functioning in their new job at London City. Alongside DJ Murphy, they make a good team, disturbing London with high-end commercials and hot jamz. Sweeney Ekong’s “Sio Inwek” jamz in the background during the ongoing broadcast.
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AMANDA
Hello London City! Once again it’s Amanda your radio diva on the airwave! And I’m hanging out with my pals from the oil city of Nigeria! JB, say hello to London!
JB
What’s up London! It’s your one and only, J to the EZ to the UZ, B to the heavenly OI: Jezuzboi. We’re in here with DJ Murphy on the wheels of steel. Sup Murphy!
MURPHY
London City! How y’all doing? I’ve been getting your reviews on my mix! Thanks for the love y’all! I’ve got this really special tune for you--all the way from the oil city of Nigeria, by the one they call the hope preacher! Listen and stay motivated!
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Dj Murphy jamz “Sio Inwek,” as he, alongside Amanda and JB move their bodies to the rhythm. It’s a dream come true...JB’s dream from way, way back! At last, The Good Life!
FADE OUT.
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