MORE THIEVES (AGENTS)
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LIGHTS ON
SCENE 1
It is not out of place for one to be a victim of false accusation. What is, however, so out of place is the ugly fact that--even after one's vindication of such accusation on the basis of concrete evidence, the accusers wouldn't lift the accusation because it serves their self-interests. Like sitting back to take the credit for the works that hardworking accused persons are laden with due to the accusation. Worse still, in order to make those hardworking persons appear less hardworking and amateur, they are required to embrace a line of work outside their area of specialty and expertise. Hard workers who stick to their areas of specialty and expertise are quickly branded thieving protégés of wanna-be masters who still step in to take the credit for those works, claiming it's their own areas and the hard workers must not continue in that line of endeavor. The goal is to get them stranded and force them to necessarily settle for a line of work that is outside their area of specialty and expertise so that hardworking persons gain nothing anymore from endeavors they are good at and become amateurs in endeavors they’re bad at. To gratify the insecurities of wannabe masters! Wouldn't the remedy to that—be to embrace many areas of expertise and specialty, making it impossible for wannabe masters to shut such persons down like that? Being that hardworking persons keep navigating from expertise to expertise, it becomes a walkover to keep insecure wannabe masters on their toes until they get exhausted and back off...since they wouldn’t do anymore than sit and exploit!
On the other hand, hard workers could stick to areas of expertise that will unmask whoever lays claim to their works, especially in events where a justification of claims laid on those works is required; so that, in a bid to remain masked in such cases, insecure wannabe masters will desist from extending their exploitative footprints into the endeavors of such persons. How can persons be made a submissive without their knowledge and their dominants are unwilling to let go of them when they realize what's going on and ask to back out, being that they didn't consent to it in the first place? Isn't that how it's supposed to be, judging from the fifty shades series where the dominants draw the idea? But since they are shitty autocratic dominants, they don't play by the rules, reason why consent of the submissive isn't sought! For the submissive to hope on dominants to play by the rules and get their domineering grip off them--will be nothing but dissipation and sheer waste of precious time! So, what to do? Wouldn’t that be the point where the submissive quits playing by the rules, become a dominant, and require other dominants to trade places and become the submissive? Perhaps at that point the other dominants will back away! Or not? Then a fight would necessarily follow? A fight...to the death, perhaps? Who’s likely to lose? Autocratic dominants who failed to get a submissive they roped into submission to continue yielding? Or the democratic submissive who was roped into submission by an autocratic dominant but managed to rope self out of that forced submission to require the autocratic dominant's submission? Who?
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SPONSORS
We shouldn’t have to push you to want things! You should want them for yourselves! You need to take the initiative because we're not always going to be beside you to push you! This effort to boost you up is what you brand domineering?
HOUSEKEEPERS
You shouldn’t have to push us to want things? We should want them for ourselves? We need to take the initiative because you’re not always going to be beside us to push us? Yet when we take the initiative to have an affair, you get in the way and stop it from happening! Over and over again! And then turn around to tell us that you shouldn’t have to push us to want things? That we should want them for ourselves? That we need to take the initiative because you’re not always going to be beside us to push us? For real? Isn't that worse than being domineering? More like witchcraft? And when your witchy scheme becomes obvious for what it is, you try to cover it up with deception! Like saying we still have time! Even after saying that, you go further to say that you just don’t want us to wait too long and have all the good placements go to other people! We stand chances with good placements but you wouldn't let us? What are we supposed to do with the time we have? Waste it? Until we become too old to have an affair? And it's all because you're just worried about us? Or perhaps because you can’t stand losing your domineering grip on us!
SPONSORS
When you get into a mess, it's better you share the mess with someone so the mess doesn't get messier! Messes like getting nabbed as fake girlfriends in fake affairs!
HOUSEKEEPERS
What about when the mess is shared to keep it from getting messier and the ones with whom it is shared to keep it from getting messier, turn out the ones who make the mess to get messier? Would it kill to get out of our comfort zones for a little bit?
SPONSORS
Get out of your comfort zones to do what? Become pretend girlfriends? To pretend boyfriends? In pretend affairs? Stage pretend breakups? To what end? Pretend marriages? And this becomes more treasurable, welcomed, and acceptable than real relationship and real marriages? To the point of playing around so much, that, one doesn't have real affairs and marriage just so the pretend affairs can thrive? Yet you dare blurt about us standing in the way when you take the initiative to have an affair? How does one relentlessly require a determinedly impatient man to be patient for what he doesn't care about? To be expectant of a promise he's not interested in! To patiently look forward to gratifying deprived sexual desires! Or a firm resolve to entrap a man into schemes that are supposed to make a fall guy out of him! So it doesn't matter how repeatedly he makes obvious that he doesn't care! Your scheming asses seek to impose the idea on him until he cares! So that, proceeding to take hold of what he cares about, which he’s been cajoled into caring about, he can be entrapped and made a mark? Isn’t that the kind of affair you take the initiative to have? One that affords you the dominance you’d not succumb to?
HOUSEKEEPERS
There’s no way we’d be interested in making out with guys who wouldn’t go help their upset moms. Housekeeping isn’t gender-specific! It’s a basic life undertaking!
SPONSORS
Really? Coming from spinsters who the said guys don’t even want to have anything to do with! Even if they’re in the good habit of helping out his upset moms! Who is the weirdo? Horny spinsters for that matter! Who are possibly throwing that jab to lure the said guys into getting them laid! Getting them paid! Getting them married!
HOUSEKEEPERS
You mean getting us paid like certain sponsors who only get us paid to get us laid? Selfish sponsors who think that, because they splash some of their stolen money on us, they have the right to meddle with our relationship and determine who we date? Which ought to be them? In lesbian affairs? So much for women supporting women!
SPONSORS
No secret escapes this network of informed housekeepers, obviously! We all go through periods when we take different turns in life. Some recover, some pretend to recover, some never come back, some chicken out before even starting, and some, for fear of taking any turns, find themselves leading the wrong life all lifelong. So many before you dames have taken the chance and been rewarded. Why can’t you?
HOUSEKEEPERS
You take hold of us and force robotic allegiance out of us! Upon failing, you discard us and give us the impression that we’re insubordinate, disobedient, and unloving. When we discover the trick, you make us consider ourselves guilty, when in reality, you’re the guilty ones who only want to use us. When you can’t use us, you don’t want us around. You send us away. But you do so--making us believe we walked away while you loved us unconditionally. Isn’t that a game of interest, our dear sponsors? You neither like nor sponsor us except we’re doing something for you! When we do things for us, you stop us because you only want us doing stuff for you!
SPONSORS
You travel to places because you have pictures of them and you want to copulate with the whole country! Then you find that you and its natives haven’t a thing in common! Their suspects get you drunk, take you somewhere, rob you clean! You complain to their agents--who are no less corrupt than the suspects themselves, they make all manner of allegations against you and have pictures to prove it. We step in and intervene, asking for less than a token in return, and this is what we get?
HOUSEKEEPERS
What did we do to those jailers and unmatched matchmakers to have them on our tails like this? Bent of jailing us for matchmaking purposes under the guise of having pictures to prove allegations leveled against us? Have we ever given the impression that we need help finding sweethearts? Or they have their questionable "special" sweethearts to match us up with? Here's the thing: we’re not the kinds of damsels that get matched up! They should drop it already! And, stepping in to intervene doesn’t automatically mean that, since we wouldn’t let jailers match us up with men, we should warm up to being matched up with fellow women by sponsors!
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What happens first always appears better and more original than what comes after. If one succeeds a great man or a have famous parent, one will have to accomplish double their achievements to outshine them. This is where the admonition to not get lost in their shadow comes in handy…or stuck in a past not of one’s own making. One is to establish one’s own name and identity by changing course. To slay overbearing predecessors if any, to disparage their legacies and gain power by shining in one’s own way. To never let one’s self be seen as following their predecessor’s path, as doing so will see one not surpassing those predecessors. One must physically demonstrate one’s difference by establishing a style and symbolism that sets one apart. Within any group, trouble is most often traced to a single source: the unhappy, chronically dissatisfied fellow who always stirs up dissension and infect the group with their ill ease. This deep orientation constitutes one of the narratives that rocks the boats of suspects and thieving agents of the small town…who all consider themselves answerable to none but themselves…especially having uncovered a seeming handy means of staying self-employed: thieving! Thus, all have become equal on that premise, and who was going to answer to who?
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HOUSEKEEPERS
When people learn that they can’t get something for nothing, crime will diminish and we shall all live in greater harmony. Power rarely ends up in the hands of those who start a revolution, or even of those who further it; power sticks to those who bring it to a conclusion. The standard of justice depends on the equality of power to compel. The strong do what they have the power to do and the weak accept what they have to accept. But no more in this small town! The narratives have changed!
SPONSORS
We never liked the “everything is better in small towns” narratives. A small town where a person finds self deep in the midst of liars and deceivers where truth is alien and the only one who can tell a person the truth is the person himself? By towing the path of paranoia and leveraging on motives to judge what's truth and what's not truth in the multitude of all manner of trashy ideas being routed to him to keep him in the dark? A small town with betrayers of the worst kind who betray their own sisters and actually acknowledge there’s no greater betrayal than that?
HOUSEKEEPERS
Is it not a byproduct of your sponsorship games? In games, there's bound to be winners and losers. But losers who have nothing to lose--nurture and bare their grievance with winners, becoming thorns in the flesh of those winners just to strip them of their trophy. And since they have nothing to lose, they can afford to be shameless about being thorns in winners' flesh, in a bid to have that shame rob off on winners and dent their reputation! Is it betrayal that will be a big deal for such folks? More so, it serves as an avenue for worthless Toms, Dicks, and Harrys to come on board and battle for a useless trophy! Becoming useless themselves along the line! What makes a woman not care about her husband cheating on her or having another wife? It has to be money! Plenty money! From your money games!
SPONSORS
If it takes our money games for financially unstable women to rid themselves of useless violent deadbeat husbands they’re hopelessly convinced they can rehabilitate, only to become a co-dependent of the dysfunction, then it’s good riddance! Such women ignore juicy offers and commit to their husbands’ causes, convinced they can bring the best out in them, only to eventually learn that some people don't have a "best" to be brought out of them but will ruin the best in those who try to bring out the best in them. Isn't it funny the things one could pick up in fake relationships?
HOUSEKEEPERS
Like the ones you accuse us of being endeared to? It's hard to concentrate when one's feelings are hurt. That's why they want feelings hurt. So one can't concentrate. That’s also why we don’t want our feelings hurt; so we can concentrate. Striving to get over hurt feelings and concentrate isn’t something you get from fake affairs. It’s better off settling in a marriage affair which is bound by a no-nonsense covenant!
SPONSORS
You can’t be dating married men and asking God for marital settlement. You cannot claim to be daughters of Zion while nurturing affairs with multiple men in a bid to determine who best fits for marriage, even having sex with them all for ages! What happened to prayer? Isn’t that what daughters of Zion do? Or you prefer sex to prayer? Go ahead, then! Have sex with fake boyfriends in fake affairs! One lie after another won't solve the problem. Flattering the men won't solve the problem either!
HOUSEKEEPERS
There must continue to be a turning and turning, shaking and shaking, coming and coming until what’s ours is released! This completely rules out baseless searches for nonexistent marital solutions that aren't intended to yield from those searches...the exact why we can’t afford to play fair. So, no matter the pressure, we do it all for ourselves and only warm up to business opportunities. All problems can be solved with the right itinerary. Studies show that every human being has a minimum of fifteen talents! There's no reason to not put them to good use rather than settle to be liabilities to those putting theirs to good use! Neither will we put ours to good use to run things for others while they lazy about! You are talented at putting people against each other for games...thanks to your money! If we’re talented in enterprises that are unbecoming of daughters of Zion for glorious purposes, won’t our penalty for such unbecoming be more bearable than the consequence of your wicked games which you repeatedly elude? Because, in a bid to elude consequence, your vile wickedness is disguised as games which is supposed to reward the fall guy with the ultimate price after the fall guy must have been instrumental to the upliftment of your empty abstract vessels. What is one supposed to do upon winning? Not to mention that the trophy that derives from winning the game is useless! Imposed on winners to make them useless! And we are supposed to constitute those winners?
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Idiotic lawbreakers disguised as "interveners" come on board to show how considerate they can be by trying to use stale deceptive tactics to get winners to settle for the useless trophies, explaining the reward to be derivable from those trophies to be free cheap sex which isn’t coming in handy again for certain lots in the small town...who can neither get laid on the basis of loving affairs nor of paid pleasure. These are the ones who warm up to the sponsors and their games. But the idiotic good Samaritans want to make it such that all and sundry in the small town warm up to it, as evidenced in their levelheaded endorsement of the venture.
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LAWBREAKERS
We root for beautiful art creation over baseless searching, shitty fact-finding, and crappy investigations anytime, any day! That is what the game is about, isn’t it?
HOUSEKEEPERS
You mean luring persons into playing sexual games they’re not interested in playing? A game they’re supposed to win no matter how amateur they are at it? And the trophy to win from that game is STD? AIDS? How is that beautiful art?
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It gets intense, as witnesses join the train!
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WITNESSES
So folks withhold others’ due benefits from those deserving of those benefits in order to use those benefits to lure the ones deserving of them into danger? To make preys out of others using what's due them? Like withholding a man from having an affair when he wants to...only to beckon on the man to come have that affair when there's STD to be contacted from the affair? So a man's mental health can somehow be turned into an avenue to conduct baseless searches, shitty fact-finding, and crappy investigations? To the man's detriment? At the expense of his sanity? And when the man, in a bid to safeguard his mental health, leverages the results of those searches, findings, and investigations to create beautiful art and create content, thinking himself full of ideas he can do nothing with other than give expression to via art, since those results are made to seem like ideas to him, the seekers and fact-finders and investigators become embittered over the fact that their endeavor, which was supposed to serve their purpose while plaguing the man with insanity, turns out serving an even greater purpose for the man? Based on the fact that he's gifted and talented and can give expression to those results via arts? While the seekers and fact-finders and investigators only do what they do with those results?
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Curiosity in the air!
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WITNESSES
Promiscuous ladies, being nabbed and uncovered for what they are, which renders them unfit for marriage to their betrothed, make relentless efforts to cast spells and lure their betrothed into gay endeavors like masturbation and gay relationships to likewise tag them unfit to marry them? To make the men appear just like them? Like birds of a feather? Using such manipulation? Instead of owning up to their trashy indulgences, seek forgiveness and for justice to be tampered with mercy? Instead, they become witchy in a bid to make the men appear witchy too? Could this be the "yet to be uncovered motive" behind the persistent tailing of persons by abstract entities who wouldn't let persons be but always seek to direct the course of their lives? To foster gayness and abolish straight affairs? And these abstract entities are nothing but dung? Shit? Feces? Starving a man of sex and ruining his mental health such that his life's purpose revolves around redeeming his mental health? When he successfully recovers, you use the sex you starved him of--to ruin his mental health again, cast spells to program the redemption of that insanity to sex, then still starve him of sex? So that he doesn't get it from you and doesn't get it from any lady at all? What sort of league is that? The man, having mastered the art of using intellect to redeem his mental health, tows the same path and redeems his mental health again and again, beating sex to it! You then try to somehow force him to esteem sex more highly than intellect? But still not have it? Except with a lady you impose on him to marry? Who’s supposed to continue that ordinance of insanity via sex? While toning down his potent levelheadedness? You do men favors you consider priceless, and when they try to return the priceless favor, you don’t welcome it because? So you do men favors you don't want done to you? And you expect them to be thankful? What sort of favors are those? Well, the favors must be returned, by hook or by crook. After all, wasn't the favor done by hook or by crook?
HOUSEKEEPERS
They don’t want the favors returned because they want to keep playing dollhouse! They keep blocking the door! And there's a supposed angel of light who fosters the antics! To keep folks bound! When uncovered, it orchestrates means that seem like emancipation to make for delusion! So it's acceptable for one to be repaid evil for good, even thanking those who repaid him evil for repaying him evil for good?
WITNESSES
Isn't this the time when prayer for the Lord to take the wrong people far from us that will waste our time with intentions to hang around us when it's only beneficial comes in handy? We are told to cast votes...but not allowed the liberty to vote who we wish to vote! What makes it a vote? God will either be Lord of all or of none!
LAWBREAKERS
Be careful. Witnesses get eliminated!
WITNESSES
We’re not oblivious of that, which is why we tilt towards art researchers with our incriminating testimonies because, all an art researcher has to do to be a hard target or get off the grid in order to elude being targeted for slaughter is to create art with those testimonies, which accounts for why guilty lots determinedly demand art researchers to not create art! It will amaze you to know who these guilty lots are!
LAWBREAKERS
(Cut in aggressively)
Agents! Suspects! Who are the "sex workers?" Who are those "investigating" the "sex workers?" For eternity without nabbing them? Aren't the investigators the sex workers? Which accounts for their endless investigations without result? Who is fooling who? They like to fix things before they break them! Like the devil who gives with one hand and takes with the other! We’ve been at war with Satan for thousands and thousands of years and he’s been accumulating a lot of loot! But not for long anymore! We’ll empty the treasures that were taken from God’s people for so long. The payoff is turning to the enrichment of the Church and it's coming soon!
HOUSEKEEPERS
(Mockingly)
Look who’s talking! Lawbreakers! Wonders shall never end! Look, good governance is what we all desire! But are we ready for change? No! Because everyday is a clash between Muslims and Christians, Igbos and Yoruba/Hausa, North and South, etc. We have a big problem! In craftiness or what they would like to call wisdom, they set up an endless process and then require one who wasn't part of that setup to end the process? After roping him into it? When the process proves to be irreparably endless, they call it sport to cover their tracks? Does sport have no end? Why not just admit to having marathon delightful sex rather than tagging it sport? Why not admit that the push to end it--is pretense and eye service but that the real motive is to have it continue till thy kingdom come? These people, it seems they’re looking for something! Information, obviously, which can be relayed via several means and modes from wherever! Why does it seem like, in addition to the information they want, they seek for the informer to be in particular locations? Or, is there anything else they want besides information that necessarily requires the presence of the informer in certain places? Gathering info from informants and recombining them with the witnesses’ evidences according to the needs of particular plays are what make for confessions, especially of the wickedness and injustice done to us, thanks to these art researchers! Why do these agents still seek the presence of informers? To reiterate on concrete reliable and verifiable evidences already availed them?
WITNESSES
It's not about employing cunning craftiness to exploit and steal valuables from us! The question is: all they've stolen from us, will they be able to administer to them like our researchers do? Because we'll be watching for that! This is not church ministry or school teaching! This has to do with raw talents! Skills! Super creativity!
LAWBREAKERS
Are you undermining the viciousness of these agents in being brilliant exploiters of talent? So brilliant in it that their positions have remained unshakable for so long, only now becoming obvious for what it is! Manipulation is a dangerous game. Once people suspect they’re being manipulated, it becomes harder and harder to control them...as it now is with us and these agents. But they claim to be out there battling more thieves: suspects of several crimes and vices but never close to nabbing them!
WITNESSES
Which is where art researchers come in! They take responsibility! Create solutions! This town is lucky to have them. We’re proud of the estimable personalities they’ve grown up to be. They’re the ones who deserve it all but have had nothing of it. Ugh!
HOUSEKEEPERS
In addition to creating substantial art, they must figure out how to ward off thieves, the vultures circling overhead, trying to live off the carcass of their creation. And they must anticipate the many possible crises that will tempt them to improvise. A lie is an allurement, a fabrication that can be embellished into a fantasy. It can be clothed in the raiment of a mystic conception. Truths are cold, sober facts, not so comfortable to absorb. Lies are more palatable. The most detested person in the world is the one who always tells the truth, who never romances, like these art researchers. But agents find it far more interesting and profitable to romance than to tell the truth! Since when is getting naked considered official police business? Not to mention mixing it with religion to make it come off as anything but what it really is, even brilliantly exploiting art researchers’ talents to serve that purpose!
LAWBREAKERS
That’s why we admonish them thus: get paid to facilitate the running of a ministry with your gifts and talents! Don’t get tricked into doing it for free in the name of love for God and service in the house of God! And the facilitating of ministry with your gifts and talents can be done from anywhere! If they’re too official to not strike a deal that lets you facilitate it from home, they’ll come up with their usual fake “coincidences” that put you in some sort of organization as a staff…from whence the ministry will be run—since they’re too insecure to let you do it independently. But since the money keeps coming, who cares? Get the money, found your own company with your gifts and talents and be the CEO. Succumb not to any organized thievery!
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The thievery in the small town has assumed dimensions where abstract beings wouldn’t live and let others live! It is such that, when a person finds succor in certain places, like churches, home away from home, work places, relationships, school, and whatever makes for a person’s gratification, satisfaction, and comfort, these abstract beings invade such places and become thorns in the flesh of everyone there because of the ones they seek to pull out of there to wherever they want? So a person is up and well to do in a church and the abstract beings come to the church and destabilize things there to the point where the targets run away from the church. And the church, knowing fully well what’s happening, does nothing to remedy that situation and keep the fellow in church. When the person finds succor in some other place like a job, those entities still invade and constitute nuisance, causing conflict in the workplace because of the person, which leads to the person being fired. Or being made so uncomfortable in the workplace by his colleagues and bosses to the point where he leaves on his own accord so that none would be said to have fired him. So that he would be tagged unstable! Unsound!
Like it is in church for certain deserters of the Lord’s army and several other endeavors! Since no one chases them away, they leave on their own accord, don’t they? But the abstract entities that engineer their leave, are they alien to the church? Or to the workplace? Or wherever else they find themselves and are made uncomfortable to the point of taking their leave without any “intervention?” These abstract entities that everyone seems to be helpless against, are they so all-powerful? Or there’s some collaboration that is supposed to be between them and the honchos of wherever they find themselves, which, when unable to build that collaboration, spells the end of those persons in those places? So they can go into oblivion? And give room for the abstract entities to have their hands on them without supposed “meddling” by others? These abstract entities are devils disguised as angels of light? What a woe! And this supposed exposé is attributable to devils who aim at proving that angels are no different from devils? That it’s opportunity that makes the thief? Because he who lacks the opportunity to steal, calls himself an honest man? That the devils one knows are better than angels one doesn't know?
The same abstract entities could synchronize an empty abstract vessel to a filled human vessel and place a bet on the human vessel based on who wins the abstract vessel. And this bet is placed by puppeteers who look to win the abstract entity and by extension, the human vessel synchronized with that empty vessel? So the order of the human vessel's life becomes subject to the directives of the puppeteers? While the abstract entity being bet on, just yields itself to any of the puppeteers who wins or the human vessel in an event where the human vessel beats puppetry to it? And so the human vessel, not wanting to be a puppet, burdens himself with the race of the abstract entity being bet on while that empty abstract vessel just relaxes and looks to be won by the highest bidder? So the human vessel strives to stay sane.
And the human vessel, striving to not be made a puppet out of, becomes the highest bidder over a price he never bided for. Isn't that scam? Imposition of one person on another person while giving the other person the impression that the one imposed on him is his price? Price for running that person's race? For taking that person's blows? For taking the fall for that person? And that same person is supposed to be his price? Wouldn't that be that person eating his cake and having it back? Being made a fool out of? The big question is: how do shits like that get pulled off? Witchcraft? Occultism? How? And what's supposed to become of the one who pulls that off upon the discovery? The agents and suspects! Who constitute more thieves!
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LAWBREAKERS
We’re seeking truth they'd rather die than spill…while moronically naming names! Are we asking for names? We’re seeking the truth before us and they're urging us to turn away from the truth before us and retreat towards the lies behind us? To fill ourselves in with lies in place of the truth? To replace truth with lies? We’re sorry! The vacuums in us are wired to only accommodate truth. They should quit fooling around! These agents...masking themselves with cloaks of religion to peddle lies!
WITNESSES
(Cut in aggressively)
Unmasked matchmakers bent of jailing us for matchmaking purposes under the guise of having pictures to prove many false allegations leveled against us and requiring our subordination in order to stand a chance with marriage. The very same thing they did to the housekeepers! We can’t serve anyone on the face of this earth for marriage! Not even Dangote! Then imagine those who are very far from being Dangote, expecting us to serve them for marriage! Marriage? Seriously? In this era when there are desperate ladies everywhere seeking marriage? That we’ll serve someone for marriage? Even when we’re extremely handsome and super intelligent? Being forced to play the hero for the villain? By who? Mere agents?
SPONSORS
Are you all seriously maligning the very ones who’ve set out to see to the recovery of this town’s stolen assets? The very ones who have planned over two dozen asset retrieval operations? Over the years, they’d spent a small fortune to snake-proof the foundation of this small town. But the thieves always managed to find their way in.
LAWBREAKERS
Only when it suits them! How can we be video persons, savoring documentaries written for the screen by art researchers and these agents want to feed us crappy images? They have to play us the full video...the kind that's made from the sorts of scripts art researchers write! Not galleries of asset retrieval operations! Giving vivid documentaries on the operation is not beyond them, is it? That way, we can gauge their efforts because there’s more than meets the eye these days. For God’s sake; these guys hardly own up to digging up evidence themselves! They solely rely on researchers’ to gather the facts they hide from us, script them and publish the scripted version online as evidence for all and sundry! Didn’t it turn out from those published evidences that these more thieves constitute directors too? The puppeteers? Who'd rather turn our community theatre into a jerk off spree? So because there's no evidence, that's why they're imposing shit on those of us who know nothing about shit? Trying to bully us into owning up to shit out of pressure? So that, if we succumb, our yielding then becomes evidence against us? In which case we will have to take the fall for crimes we didn’t commit? When we refuse to own up to crimes we didn’t commit, they brand us lawbreakers! Aren't they bigger idiots than we give them credit for? While our researchers embark on research to dig up buried evidence, what methodology do these agents deploy to achieve the same goal? Fuck around to dig up evidences about particular cases, right? Jokers!
SPONSORS
Cut them some slack! They could be up to something honorable this time around.
LAWBREAKERS
How would you know that? We already made up our minds that they're bad news! No amount of belated honesty would fix that! It is important to note that the nature of a discipline determines the methodology that would be applied in investigating that discipline! These agents have no discipline! Only accustomed to interrogating by asking shitty and vague questions which we require them to narrow down understandably if they don't want answers we pull out of our dirty smelly asses!
SPONSORS
So there are answers to questions that were pulled out of asses? And that was due to the nature of the questions? "Ass" as in "buttocks?" Or "Ass" as in domestic beast of burden? Or "Ass" as in sexual intercourse? A sort wild stallion? Clear our doubts!
LAWBREAKERS
Intercourse! Wild stallion! Buttocks! Call it whatever! But the fact is that these agents leverage on sexual activities to foster generic coding that reduce men to toy soldiers...boy-wives--to be courted and married by women-husbands. That way, men are made to be at women’s beck and call, doing as told obediently, like robots! They get upgraded from time to time for improvements. But the purpose of every update is to impose limitations intended to keep the men continually subject to their whims. But the findings of researchers have squarely served the purpose of delimitating those imposed limits, which is why these agents loath researchers!
WITNESSES
They are always trying to bully us into contracts! We’ve told them severally to better tell their cop boyfriends there are plenty of us around here who do not like the seminal fluid they yearn to force down our throats in the name of contract! Claiming it will help us remember how it felt to face death. How the hell is remembering what happened going to put us back together again? If we finally remember how it felt to face death, would we be ready to live again? Coding is level. Decoding is next level! Whatever they code, researchers will have it decoded!
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So far so good, the more thieving in the small town is uncovered to revolve around the very ones entrusted with the obligation of safeguarding it from such malevolence. Meanwhile, the ones whose duty it isn’t--to see to such safeguarding, have risen to the occasion of burdening themselves with that responsibility: art researchers! For every research that is literary inclined, a research methodology is appropriate--whereby the researcher is expected to define his approach towards the study. This would serve as a kind of blueprint for the project based on the type and mode of research and the most effective methodology for carrying it out, which, in the case of this research, is fact-finding. Research writing is peculiar to every discipline, as, in every discipline, research is key. Any research work that is not significant is not worth investigating into. And who determines what research work is significant other than the sponsors or the researchers? Isn't it possible that research works that are significant to sponsors may be insignificant to the researchers? Or that research works that are significant to researchers may be insignificant to sponsors? A matter of self-interest! The interests of the art researchers of the small town is obvious...which goes without saying that they have no sponsors, unlike the housekeepers; who do not seem to want to continue their ties with their sponsors. Research needs sponsors. There are researchers. There are sponsors. Being that sponsors determine what researches are significant, isn't it possible that researches bothering on the small town that are significant to sponsors may be insignificant to researchers? Or that research works significant to researchers may be insignificant to the sponsors? Agents and suspects couldn’t care any less about that! Having filled times in the small city at what looks like the expense of the city people was all they could think about, play about, dialogue about!
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AGENTS
As they possibly know, we get angel for our ghetto! Anything we do, we penetrate!
SUSPECTS
They don’t know! What fully arms self for war but wouldn't go to war?
AGENTS
Alcohol!
SUSPECTS
(In intoxication)
These town people, since dem like beta thing, dem no chop winch, mek dem clap for themselves! Who wants to hang us? If friends hate you, dissolve the friendship! Bad husbands are stationed on ticking time-bombs! Cuz they wouldn’t love their wives!
AGENTS
There's this local song by twin Akwa Ibom village singers with the lyrics: "nyemme ima handset oo. Handset anam yak mbo ufen ima oo." That simply means: "I don't want phone (handset) love because it has made me suffer for love." How about that?
SUSPECTS
That's exactly the only kind of love that we want! You know why? Cuz when we wanted real-time love, you wanted phone love which we didn't understand how it works. How come--now that we understand how it works and you still understand how it works, you no longer want it? You must want it! Garbage in, garbage out!
AGENTS
A question about “how to hang someone” was asked and the answer to it was: “fill them with love and then leave?” You asked who wants you hanged? Now you know!
SUSPECTS
Game recognizes game!
AGENTS
Indeed! The goal is simple: be better than yesterday, or get hanged!
SUSPECTS
Better than yesterday at thieving, we guess...all thanks to you, our pacesetters! We play by your rules: do as you do, talk as you do, walk as you walk, steal as you steal!
AGENTS
Since when do you follow the rules? Do you not take pride in being unruly villains liable to getting away with all manner of atrocities on the basis of your link to us?
SUSPECTS
It’s all games, as you know. And in games, there are winners as much as they are losers. Even in Chinese plays that emanated from the Northern School of China, traceable to the Yuan Dynasty, there was usually ample evidence of poetic justice on the Chinese stage...in the sense that, even when plays sometimes ended unhappily for the protagonist, the villain was often discovered and punished.
AGENTS
It’s a good thing you already know the fate that awaits you, because, like you rightly said, in games, there are winners as much as they are losers. And you lots have been what? Anything but perpetual losers? However, in a bid to secure the “price,” the likes of losers like you, least likely to secure the price, keep revealing tactics that can be leveraged to oust potential winners most like to secure the price. You map out marks and burden them with the task of leveraging those tactics to oust potential winners and become potential winners themselves. But when the marks do that, you leverage those same tactics to oust them and secure the price.
SUSPECTS
Because they’re too dumb to catch the vibe and lose the feeling! They're always catching it all! Catch the vibe, lose the feeling! That's the secret! Learn the tactics from the losers, oust whoever must be ousted and win...especially the losers who route the tactics across, because it was out of selfish interest and con!
AGENTS
Maybe it’s a good thing to take the loss in such games after all because, who sets up a game and calls it “Big Brother House versus Little Brother Bush?” Houses are supposed to be more inhabitable than the outlands. But when houses like the big brother house proves to be more problematic and chaotic than the outlands, doesn’t the remedy to that situation become the outlands? Like, isn’t the remedy to the chaotic big brother house the seemingly tranquil little brother bush? Indulge us!
SUSPECTS
(Lol)
The bush guy really didn’t want to traumatize a bunch of kids with making them listen to his death. But one of them was smart enough to tape the audio so the killer wouldn’t get away with the murder. He is the mark who was lured into the game and required to necessarily win or get afflicted until he succumbs to winning. That's why he's not allowed to have a relationship with a lady of his choice. He is supposed to be paired with a certain lady to keep him roped in the game lastingly. Allowing him the liberty to couple up with his choice babe would see him doing what he does best: envisioning all sorts and giving free rein to those envisionings via ripe words.
AGENTS
Which is why they hate him more for his dreams and words! So that's it, huh? The dreams part is understandable. But which words? Written words or spoken words?
SUSPECTS
Ripe words! He must’ve known this was coming! Must have done it a million times!
AGENTS
Like Joseph the dreamer who saw his future coming, having dreamt lavishly about it. Having envisioned his glorious future, he did what he does best: giving free rein to those envisionings via ripe words, for which reason his brothers said to him, “shall you indeed reign over us? Or shall you indeed have dominion over us? So they hated him even more for his dreams and for his words. Consequently, they sold him into to slavery that endured for thirteen years. Since there's no slave trade in this part of the world in this 21st century, the alternative to selling an envied star into slavery is driving him nuts one way or the other! Like routing STDs to him via abstract means? And the one with the STD becomes an abstract puppet that's integrated to a healthy vessel like Joseph? And the whole world is made privy to the fact that the healthy vessel has been integrated to an STD-plagued abstract entity so no one would even want to have a relationship with the healthy vessel?
SUSPECTS
What are you saying? We can’t seem to wrap our heads around it! Clear our doubts! It's possible to route STD to folks without sexual intercourse? 21st century science?
AGENTS
What do you think happens when you jerk off? Mere spilling of seamen in derivation of self-pleasure? Isn’t it possible there could be more to it? Like an abstract being there-present to ensure the spilled seamen, intended to go to waste, serves its required purpose nonetheless? STD, conception, gestation, incubation, delivery of the spilled seamen? Child with veritable DNA! To be duly fathered!
SUSPECTS
You mean an abstract child with an abstract mother? Derived from palpable seamen of a tangible being? It is understandable, though paranormal, how such conception, gestation, incubation, and delivery is come by. But how is such child to be fathered?
AGENTS
By dropping science on the father! Putting words in his head to either voice out via oratory endeavors like pastoring, motivational speaking, and the likes, or document in writing for one purpose or the other. In listening to those speeches or reading those documented writings understandably, the child is groomed and fathered. But then, the father’s likely to remain at a total loss as to all this, deeming those fatherly undertakings as his life’s purpose or some sort of divine calling! It’s called science!
SUSPECTS
(Lol)
Science indeed! Putting words in my head to either voice out or write out wouldn’t help though. When they've put words in my head to either verbalize or document, what would they do about my will? Is a man no longer as he thinketh in his heart?
AGENTS
Serves the same purpose! Those very thoughts nurture the child into becoming just like you, for, those thoughts form the child into exactly what the father is. That is how the DNA of the child is certified! The child can only become like the father! To become like the father, the child is made to behold his father’s words, whether in speech or written form or in thought, as, it can't become like the father unless it sees the father and beholds him long enough to be squarely shaped into his exact image.
SUSPECTS
That explains it! It indeed does! You can't be it unless you see it, and she did see it!
AGENTS
Who?
SUSPECTS
The girl.
AGENTS
What girl?
SUSPECTS
No be for our mouth you go hear say yansh get parting! We thought we were cool? Why do you want us to die for spilling the beans? Haven’t you heard that: “when a child begins to think that he’s wiser than his father, what his father spent a lifetime running from, kills him in his sleep?” Why? Why do you want us to die, hommie?
AGENTS
(Lol)
You’ll be riding on Kizz Daniel's “I'll be rich till I die” lyrics to brag about how “you gonna be rich till you die,” and then hop on 50 Cent's “Many Men” lyrics to question us on how “you thought we’re cool? Why we want you to die?” Hommie?
SUSPECTS
Our unofficial motto: the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. We’re gonna keep staying focused on midnight while keeping our minds off all aspects of it. If you switch sides eventually and come at us to undo us for thieveries, know certainly it’ll be a mutually assured destruction! We have a new passion: intelligence gathering! How do you think we picked up content writing? Got it wrestling two murderers who tried to attack us! In case you don’t know, content creation is saving winnings!
AGENTS
How did you damned felons break through? This breach be upon you! So content creation isn’t just peculiar to the loveable art researchers of this small town again, as they’ll no longer be the only ones saving winnings to our hurt? Now you, too? Only villainy is peculiar to us? Who, then, is the famed playwriting peculiar to?
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LIGHTS OUT.
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